What do you call a bear with no teeth?
(A gummy bear!)
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After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket.
He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license.
The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come done to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day."
The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license.
The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water.
The warden says, "Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water."
The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What lobsters?"
A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth.
Question:
What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth?
Answer:
A full bus of old men.
Vote:
What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass?
"Hey! Look at the cow's nest!"
Did you hear about the argumentative skunk?
He always liked to make a stink.
What happens when you kiss a canary?
You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos?
Czechs and stripes don’t mix.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly.
So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A: Megasoreass.