Joke #3730

What do you call a bear with no teeth? (A gummy bear!)
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A policeman caught a mischievous little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other. "Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever you do to that poor, innocent creature I shall personally do to you." "In that case," said the boy, "I'll give it lots of chocolates as well as all my money and let it go."
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has 82.13 % from 239 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, food, kids, money
At a restaurant, one of the customers notices that all of the waiters have two spoons in their vest pockets. A waiter explains, "We see that the most frequently dropped silverware is spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement." Then the customer notices a string hanging out of all the waiters' flies. "The string is for us to go to the bathroom," explains the waiter. "That way, when we pull it, it shoots and aims straight, and we don't need to use our hands." The customer asks, "Well, that's how you get it out, but how do you get it back in?" The waiter replies, "Well, that's another reason we carry the spoons."
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
What do you call an unusual rabbit? A rare hare.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's at the end of Moby Dick? A whale of a time.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, time
How do you go about hiring a horse? Try two pairs of stilts!
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, “Where were you during the first half?” He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, soccer
What is the golden rule for cows? Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape man? Tarzan stripes forever.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal
A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today" The boss asks why and the guy says "it's my eyes." "What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss. "I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead..."
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal
A boy went into a hoare house and said he wanted an AIDS's infected prostitute. The woman at reception said room 9 top of the hall. He went to the room and did his business.When he was leaving she asked him why he wanted her she being aids infected. The boy answered,"When I go home i'll sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with my mam then in the morning my mam will fuck the milkman and thats the BASTARD that ran over my dog.
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has 73.12 % from 665 votes. More jokes about: animal, business, dad, dog, sex