What do you call a bear with no teeth?
(A gummy bear!)
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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
a lickalotapus.
Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
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How does a frog confuse you?
When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.
Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
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One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds.
One of the boys said, "What is that?"
"They're smart pills," said the other boy.
"Eat them and they'll make you smarter."
So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap."
"See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already."
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Why was the horse all charged up?
It ate some haywire!
Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades.
Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard.
For one whole year Bill ignores the dog.
So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard.
After about a year and a half of Bob's cow crapping in Bill's yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill's house.
Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the 18-wheeler.
'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemly.
Why did the frog cross the road?
To see what the chicken was doing.
A baby hedgehog lost itself, in the garden.
Sad, he strolls from here to there, whereupon he bumps in a cactus and full of hope he says:
Mama, is that you?