Joke #3730

What do you call a bear with no teeth? (A gummy bear!)
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal

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"Yes, ma'am," the old salt confided to the inquisitive lady, "I fell over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by the leg." "Merciful providence!" his hearer gasped. "And what did you do?" "Let 'im 'ave the leg, o' course, ma'am. I never argues with sharks."
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has 14.23 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
What is a chameleon's motto? A change is as good as a rest.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom's annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love making. Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn't quit it. The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn't close a large suitcase. The groom said, "Darling, you get on top and I'll try." That didn't work. Figuring they needed more weight on the lid, she said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I'll try." Still no success. So, he said, "Look. Let's both get on top." At that point the parrot pulled away the towel with his beak and said: "Zoo or no zoo. I just gotta see this."
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has 68.26 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: animal, parrot
Q. What’s got 4 legs and bleeds? A. Half a spider!
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat? A. Because he was pissed off!
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal
What is the fiercest flower in the garden? The tiger lily.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
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has 59.23 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, insulting, Yo mama
How do you hire a teddy bear? Put him on stilts.
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?  She thought children should be seen and not herded!
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass. When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter. When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell. He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night."
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has 65.61 % from 301 votes. More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dirty, fart