Joke #4216

What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says ‘chew chew chew’.

Yo mama is so stupid that when a teacher told the class nobody is perfect, he replied, "I want to become nobody!"

Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find North America. Shamu: Here it is! Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America? Ramu: Shamu!

In school, we had to do a skit demonstrating key concepts of the English language. My skit on the "diphthong" clearly demonstrated that the string micro-bikini was not a wise choice.

The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "George, why has your school work been so poor lately?" "I’m in love," the boy replied. Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?" "With you," he said. "But George," she said gently, "don’t you see how silly that is? It’s true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don’t want a child." "Oh, don’t worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I’ll use a rubber."

Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed. He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"

Little Johnny returns from school and says: "Mam, in school we write dirty swear-words so often!" "But I hope you are not writing them, my son." "No, I'm dictating them!"

Teacher: Ramu, give me a sentence starting with " I ". Ramu: I is... Teacher: No, Ramu. Always say, "I am." Ramu: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

Teacher: "In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia?" Pupil: "Holding up the telegraph lines!"

After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, "You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. And why is that?"  Little Johnny offers, "Miss, it's so we wouldn't wake all those people sleeping."

What is the longest word in the English language? Smiles: there is a mile between the first and last letters!