Joke #5669

"Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl. "Say, do you know who I am?" asked the girl. "No." "I'm the principal's daughter." "And do you know who I am?" asked the boy. "No," she replied. "Thank goodness!"

"Dad, I don't want to go to school today." said the boy. "Why not, son?" "Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day." "But why don't you want to go today?" "Because our English teacher died yesterday!"

I wish my grades would smoke weed too so we could both get higher.

DEPT OF STATISTICS: All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve. DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY: Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind. DEPT OF HISTORY: All students get the same grade they got last year. DEPT OF RELIGION: Grade is determined by God. DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY: What is a grade? LAW SCHOOL: Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A. DEPT OF MATHEMATICS: Grades are variable. DEPT OF LOGIC: If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A. DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE: Random number generator determines grade. MUSIC DEPARTMENT: Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively). DEPT OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION: Everybody gets an A.

They wanted something long and hard..... I gave them MY HOMEWORK!

In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.

Ramu: Dad, can you write in the dark? Father: I think so. What do you want me to write? Ramu: Your name on this report card.

What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says ‘chew chew chew’.

Teacher: If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? Fred: None! Fred (surprised): Why not? Fred: Because you can't lay eggs!

Jimmy: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do? Teacher: no, of course not. Jimmy: good, because i didn't do my homework.

The art teacher instructed her students to do a self portrait. When Andrew handed his picture in, the teacher took one look at it and said, "But, Andrew,this isn’t you." "That’s right," replied Andrew. "It’s a self portrait of someone else."