The child comes home from his first day at school.
Mother: “What did you learn today?”
Kid: “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”
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The first of September, first lesson. Teacher:
"Please sit quietly, if you want to ask something - raise your hand."
Little Johnny immediately raises his hand.
"You want to ask something?"
"No. Just checking how the system works."
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After twelve years of carrying books to school, you're well prepared for a career in backpacking.
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Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
Q: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
A: A teacher.
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Malcolm: Miss Wilson can I go to the loo?
Miss Wilson: In two minutes Malcolm. Do your alphabet first.
Malcolm: Ok Miss Wilson. abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz.
Miss Wilson: Very good, Malcolm, but where's the p?
Malcolm: Miss, it's running down my leg!
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David: Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?
Dan: I don’t know. Why?
David: Because it was always sweeping during class!
What does a graduate student with a science degree ask?
"Why does it work?"
What does a graduate student with an engineering degree ask?
"How does it work?"
What does a graduate student with an accounting degree ask?
"How much will it cost?"
What does a graduate student with a liberal arts degree ask?
"Do you want fries with that?"
Chuck Norris got into Cambridge... without any qualifications.
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I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.