Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object? Student: You are pretty. Teacher: What’s the direct object? Student: A good report card.
A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil. "And who was it that developed the theories behind communism?" the professor asked. "I don't know," the student said. "Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Reebs, you would know," said the professor. "That's not true," the student replied. "I never pay attention anyway!"
Q: Why was the wizard kicked out of school. A: Because he forgot how to spell.
Teacher: “Why are you late?” Boy: “Because of a sign down the road.” Teacher: “What does a sign have to do with your being late?” Boy: “The sign said, ‘School Ahead, Go Slow!’”
Teacher:Maria please point to America on the map. Maria:This is it. Teacher:Well done. Now class, who found America? Class:Maria did.
Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water? Ramu: "HIJKLMNO"!! Teacher: What are you talking about? Ramu: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
What is the longest word in the English language? Smiles: there is a mile between the first and last letters!
Q: Would you burn your education certificate for 50 million us dollars? Me: I will burn my certificate, I will burn the school, the nearby schools and even the ministry of education I will also burn all the textbooks.
Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find North America. Shamu: Here it is! Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America? Ramu: Shamu!
Julia began her job in a secondary school as a counselor and she was keen to help the pupils. One day during break-time she noticed a girl standing all by herself on one side of the playing field while the rest of the children were enjoying a game of soccer at the other end of the field. Julia approached and asked if she was all right. The girl said that she was. Some time later, however, Julia noticed that the girl was in exactly the same spot, still by herself. Going up to her again, she enquired, 'Would you like me to be your friend?' The girl hesitated, then said, 'Alright,' while looking at Julia with some suspicion. Feeling she was making progress, Julia then asked, 'Why are you standing here all alone?' 'Because,' the girl said with a large sigh, 'I'm the goalie!'