Joke #2685

Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object? Student: You are pretty. Teacher: What’s the direct object? Student: A good report card.
Vote: has 82.30 % from 392 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: school

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed. He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"
Vote: has 84.01 % from 693 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, chemistry, death, little Johnny, school
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the graded tests back out. This student got back his test, his test grade, and $64 change.
Vote: has 75.77 % from 99 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: school
Little Johnny wasn't a very good at speller. One day, during a spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?" After thinking a few seconds, Johnny said, "Canoe?"
Vote: has 34.06 % from 178 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, little Johnny, school, teacher
Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card." Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
Vote: has 83.28 % from 222 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: school
Teacher: Why are you late? Ramu: Because of the sign. Teacher: What sign? Ramu: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
Vote: has 83.31 % from 907 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: school, teacher
It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning. (The Fast and The Furious) It doesn't matter if you pass the semester by getting 40% or 95%. Passing's passing.
Vote: has 62.14 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: school
Seems like school and microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes.
Vote: has 68.50 % from 60 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: school, time
Yo mama so fat when she walked out in August in her yellow sun dress and the kids said mommy its time for school.
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, insulting, kids, school, Yo mama
A young Jewish Mom walks her son to the school bus corner on his first day of kindergarten. "Behave, my bubaleh," she says. "Take good care of yourself and think about your Mother, tataleh!" "And come right back home on the bus, schein kindaleh." "Your Mommy loves you a lot, my ketsaleh!" At the end of the school day the bus comes back and she runs to her son and hugs him. "So what did my pupaleh learn on his first day of school?" The boy answers, "I learned my name is David."
Vote: has 68.25 % from 128 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: jewish, racist, school
Teacher: "Why did you laugh?" Boy: "I saw a strap of your bra." Teacher: "Get out! Don't come to class for the next 1 week. Another boy laughs..." Teacher: "Why did you laugh?" Boy: "I saw both straps of your bra." Teacher: "Get out! Don't come to class for next 1 month." The teacher bends to pick a chalk and little Johnny starts walking out of the class. Teacher: "Why are you going out?" Johnny: "With what I saw I think my school days are over."
Vote: has 83.71 % from 467 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: little Johnny, school, teacher