Joke #2685

Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object? Student: You are pretty. Teacher: What’s the direct object? Student: A good report card.

Little Johnny took sex ed and every day when little Johnny would come in from school he'll tell his dad for learning sex ed well one day we'll just come in and he said that I got thrown out sex ed Lil Johnny's daddy says how do you get thrown out sex ed Little Johnny said well Dad I got in trouble for eating during class.

Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour? Pupil: Because it can't sit down!

Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.

Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself.

Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card." Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong. "All right children, let's take another example," she said. "If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?" Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile, he blurts out, "You'd be his wife!"

I'll be honest. I did not graduate at the top of my class. In fact, I was so close to the bottom, my sheepskin had a tail.

What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says ‘chew chew chew’.

You have committed the grave tactical blunder of acquiring enough university credits to graduate. So now you're leaving college and embarking on the greatest adventure - and the biggest challenge - of your young lives: moving back in with your parents.

"What shall we play today?" said Florence to her best friend Jenny. "Let's play schools," said Jenny. "OK!" said Florence. "But I'm going to be absent."