What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''
What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes. The first man said, "My Ryan loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky." The second man said, "My Ross was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake." The third man said, "My Jack was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time."
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
Daddy to his son: I don't care if you are dating a black girl - they are all pink on the inside.
What's the difference between an apple and a black man? None! They both hang from trees.
Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp? The kids come back.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork? So you can tell which ones are still alive.