Q: What do you call 24 sorority girls walking down the street?
A: A case of Schlitz.
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Why did god make beer?
So the Irish would not take over the world.
A guy is sitting at the bar watching the game and enjoying his beer.
Another guy strolls over and they begin to converse.
After a while the second asks if he had ever played "beer football?"
He said no, and asked how to play.
"Well, if you chug a beer, you get 6 points, and if you bend over and fart, you get an extra point."
So, the second guy starts off by chugging his beer and farting.
The first man chugged his beer with ease, and when he bent over to fart, the second guy came up and kicked him in the butt and exclaimed, "BLOCK THE KICK!"
What a barman!
When I asked for something tall, cold and full of gin, he called his wife out.
A blonde, a priest, a doctor, a nurse, a brunette, a redhead, a lawyer, a rabbi, a musician, a farmer, a lawyer, an accountant, a Mexican, an Indian, a Chinaman, an Irishman, an Englishman an American, A Russian, an Iraqi, Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Sarah Palin, George W Bush, Osama Bin laden and Barack Obama walked into a bar.
The barman said, "Hang on a minute, is this some sort of joke?"
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
Liquor may be a slow poison, but who’s in a hurry?
I can tell when my wife drinks.
Her face gets blurred.
Did you hear about the man who drank 5 gallons of tea?
He drowned in his teepee!
Vote:
A man who goes into the pub optimistically often comes out misty optically.