Since it started to rain, my wife can't stop looking through the window. If it will start pouring down, I'm afraid I will have to let her inside.
Death is God’s way of saying, ‘Hey, you’re not alive any more.’
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it's the only love they get.
I bet Rosa Parks killed it in musical chairs.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.
What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
I love blacks. It's a pitty they are not being traded anymore...
Q: What do you call a flying Jew? A: Ashes.
Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?" Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."
Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation? He said, "So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses."
Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn't have any arms.