Since it started to rain, my wife can't stop looking through the window.
If it will start pouring down, I'm afraid I will have to let her inside.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
I walked passed a burnt out building with a broken sign saying "Fireworks".
How right they were.
Vote:
What do you call of 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
Vote:
My Girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a princess for her birthday.
So I took her out, got her drunk, and crashed the car.
Vote:
Q: What was so bad about being a black Jew?
A: You had to sit in the back of the oven.
Vote:
Joke has 48.55 % from 316 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, jewish, morbid, racist
Late in the night he regained consciousness.
He found himself in agonizing pain in the hospital's ICU, with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him.
He realized he'd obviously been in a serious accident.
She gave him a deep look straight into the eyes, and he heard her slowly say, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."
Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, "Can I feel your tits, then?"
That, my friends, is a positive attitude!
Vote:
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.
Vote:
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife.
A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?"
The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!"
The undertaker does as he is told.
On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it!"
Q: Why aren't there more famous skeletons?
A: They're a bunch of no bodies!
Vote:
Chuck Norris occasionally smokes large cigars.
The last one was called the Hindenburg.
Vote:
Two boiled eggs in a pan, one says "Hot in here in it", other says "You think it's hot in here, wait till you get outside they smash your head in."
Vote: