Joke #5125

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.
Vote: has 30.11 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Use to be we had Bob Hope, Johnny Cash, and Steven Jobs. Now we have no hope, no cash, and no jobs. Please do not die Kevin Bacon.
Vote: has 78.97 % from 126 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep? A: When the big hand touches the small one.
Vote: has 43.73 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dirty, kids, sex
So it's the weekend, and I'm on my back patio when I get this idea to call up my coroner friend Bob. "Bob's not here," his wife says, "he's at work." "Sheesh!" I think. "Poor guy doing autopsies on a Sunday." So I call him on his cell. "What gives, bro,?" I ask. "Homicide," he says. "The higher-ups need a report ASAP. I'll be starting in just a few minutes." I Josh Bob a little. "I'll be thinking of you, buddy. Right now, I'm basting barbecue sauce on a rack of baby-backs and I'm getting ready to open a frosty beer." "Not much different here," he says. "I'm about ready to crack open a cold one myself."
Vote: has 67.69 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, food, friendship, time, work
Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes. Now it is the third man's turn. He asks for a fork. The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork. As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, "To hell with your canoes!"
Vote: has 85.53 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, family
Hitler: I asked for a glass of juice, not gas the Jews!
Vote: has 60.54 % from 124 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, jewish
Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp? The kids come back.
Vote: has 54.44 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, jewish, kids
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
Vote: has 43.90 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Heres what you do: 1. Dinner 2. Kiss 3. Movie 4. Sex 5. Bring her back home 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dating, kids, money, sex
There's some soldiers in Vietnam. And they've been pinned down in their trench for days. Finally one guy says,"Fuck this I really have to pee guys. Lay down covering fire, i'll run into the bushes. When I'm done I'll give a signal and you can give me covering fire while i run back." So they lay down fire, and he runs off into the jungle. But he's gone for a good half an hour, they're finally convinced that he's been murdered by Charlie when they hear the signal. So they lay down fire and he sprints out of the jungle and leaps back into the trench. So obviously they're pretty confused. They ask "what the hell took you so long man?" The guy says, "well i was just finishing up my business, when I met this beautiful Vietnamese girl, and we just started having sex right there. we did every position imaginable, missionary, doggy style, everything. It was great." One of his buddies asks "Well did you get any head?" He replies "There was no head."
Vote: has 65.24 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, military, sex
I got in trouble for telling a joke in 5th grade. Now I have to keep 250 feet away from all schools...
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, communication, dirty, school