How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.
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Seven friends once pulled this at my college cafeteria.
One put a hot water bottle filled with pea soup down his chest; he sat at the head of a table, with the other six friends sitting along the sides.
When the cafeteria was pretty full of people, he made a loud noise (to attract attention), stood up, bent over and squeezed his chest.
This caused a huge gush of green liquid to spew all over the table; the other six immediately began to eat this green liquid.
I think a lot of food went uneaten that night.
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What did the cannibal say when he was full?
I couldn't eat another mortal.
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Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A: A pedophile.
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Q: What's the difference between morbid and black humour?
A: Well, black humour is like 10 children in one rubbish bin, whereas morbid humour is like one child in 10 rubbish bins.
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I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
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Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
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Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
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My Girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a princess for her birthday.
So I took her out, got her drunk, and crashed the car.
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Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago?
Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....
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