How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.
How do you stop an Iraqi tank? "Just shoot the guy that's pushing it!"
What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ? Crib death.
Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? A: Because his wife died.
My Girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a princess for her birthday. So I took her out, got her drunk, and crashed the car.
Q: How do you kill 1000 Jews at once? A: Throw a dollar off a cliff.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
What's red and dances all around? A baby on a barbecue
Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews? A: Santa comes down the chimney.
A woman is speaking to her friend, ‘My husband has got one foot in the grate.’ ‘Don’t you mean one foot in the “grave”?’ says the friend. ‘No,’ replies the woman. ‘He wants to be cremated.’