Joke #9649

Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall? A: To see her crack.
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Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven. And everyone who goes to heaven has to work. God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies. Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out. For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired. As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Smith said: **** I better hurry because they are burning."
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More jokes about: baby, black humor, car, death, heaven
On the day of my big job interview I woke up late. Frantically I threw on a suit. "OH NO!" I thought. "MY TIE! My Dad was out of town and wasn't there to help me, and for the life of me, I did not know how to tie a tie!" I grabbed a tie and ran out the door. "Excuse me sir," I said to the crossing guard, "I have an important job interview, can you please help me make this tie?!" "Sure," said the guard, "just lie down on this bench." Well if someone was going to help me I wasn't going to ask any questions. After he finished and the tie looked good I just had to ask why I had to lie down. "Well in my previous job I learned how to tie ties on other people when they were lying down." he replied. "What was your previous job?" I asked incredulously. "I ran a morgue." was the reply.
Vote: has 82.69 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, communication, death, time, work
Q: How many Ethiopians can you fit into a telephone booth? A: All of them.
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More jokes about: black humor, phone, racist
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
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More jokes about: black humor, Chuck Norris, death, food, morbid
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
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More jokes about: baby, black humor, disgusting
My wife and I have reached a decision that we do not want children. If anybody does please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
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More jokes about: black humor, kids, marriage
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
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More jokes about: baby, black humor, sex, women
Q: What did the baby say as I threw it in the blender? A: I didn't catch it, I was too busy masturbating.
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More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, masturbation, morbid
Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: Getting her out of the wheelchair.
Vote: has 76.27 % from 45 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, food, health
One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. The deaf policeman heard the noise, and came and shot those two dead boys. If you don't believe this joke is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too.
Vote: has 40.61 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, cop, death