Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall?
A: To see her crack.
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Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment.
"I’m sorry," said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks."
"But I could be dead by then!"
"No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment."
Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones?
Because they're hand made.
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Came out the gym the other day and cop asked me how I got that body.
I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the trunk and there she was"
Q: Why doesn't Mexico have any teams competing in the Olympics?
A: Because all of the Mexicans that can run, swim, and jump have left the country.
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Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'?
- Because black people have no rights..
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I have to be honest, I am English myself but some of the American jokes on this site just completely ruin it for me.
I mean, what the shit happened on the ninth of November anyway?
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Q: What did Hitler get for his birthday?
A: An easy bake oven and a GI-Jew.
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What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding?
A baby in a microwave.
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Q: What do you call a Jew with a mental disability?
A: Auschwitztic.
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Why did Hitler go to the eye doctor?
Because he can Nazi.
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