Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall?
A: To see her crack.
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Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car?
A: Three in the back, two in the front and the rest in the ashtray.
A tourist is in Spain, and goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner.
As he looks around, he notices a diner being served a beautifully garnished dish with two gigantic meatballs in the middle.
When the waiter asks him for his order, the man asks him about the meatball dish.
The waiter explains that the meatballs are bull's testicles, and when the bull loses the bullfight, the bull is brought to the restaurant, and this beautiful dish is made.
The diner tells the waiter that he wants the bulls testicles for dinner, but the waiter tells him that only one bull a day is brought to the restaurant, but he can have it tommorrow.
The diner agrees.
The next day the diner goes to the restaurant, and orders the testicle dish.
When his food is brought out, he notices that the meatballs are extremely small.
He mentions this to the waiter, and the waiter replies: "Well sir you have to understand, sometimes the bull wins".
They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach.
But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
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Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner?
So they can take bubble baths.
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An Asian walks into a McDonald's and says, "I'll Have An Eggroll and Some Fry Rye."
"I'm sorry sir we don't serve that. Would you like anything else?"
"I have quarter pounder. And when would you like to pick that up...Hiroshima!"
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What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!
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One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other.
The deaf policeman heard the noise, and came and shot those two dead boys.
If you don't believe this joke is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too.
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What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday?
He ate himself.
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How long does it take a black lady to shit?
About 9 months.
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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth?
With a blender.
How do you get them out?
Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.
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