Joke #9649

Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall? A: To see her crack.
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Use to be we had Bob Hope, Johnny Cash, and Steven Jobs. Now we have no hope, no cash, and no jobs. Please do not die Kevin Bacon.
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The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace. "For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful."
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I got in trouble during high school for masturbating in the showers. Apparently it completely ruined the trip to Auschwitz.
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What's funnier than cancer? Most things, really.
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Me: "Here comes the airplane!" Baby: Opens mouth. Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
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What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
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Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? Because black people have no rights...
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''
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When you were in the gang then, you just had to look cool, just walk around and look like you were tough. Someone started talking about fighting -- 'No, man, I've got to go home.'
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Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? - Because black people have no rights..
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