Joke #9649

Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall? A: To see her crack.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''
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Join the Army, meet some fascinating people, then kill them.
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First Cannibal: "Who was that girl I saw you with last night?" Second Cannibal: "That was no girl, that was my supper."
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Why was the cannibal fined by the judge? He was caught poaching.
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Q: How is spinach like anal sex? A: Chances are if you're forced to have it as a child you are probably going to hate it as an adult.
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My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital. I went to see him the next day, but he just kept whispering "Chun Yu Yan" over and over – and then died. I was very sad and googled his last message after the burial. Apparently, it means "You're standing on my oxygen tube."
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What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.
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Steve lies dying, as Jack, his law partner of 40 years, sits at his bedside. "Jack, I've got to confess -- I've been sleeping with your wife for 30 years, I'm the father of your daughter, and I've been stealing from the firm for a decade." "Relax," says Jack, "and don't think another thing about it. I'm the one who put arsenic in your martini."
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Q: What did the cannibal do once he dumped his lady friend? A: He wiped his bottom.
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What's pink and chunky? A baby with leprosy.
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