Joke #9649

Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall? A: To see her crack.
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Hitler got a heart attack when he saw the gas bill.
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"I want a divorce"! "But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part." "I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."
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How do the fairy-tales of the whites and the blacks differ? The stories of whites start: Once upon a time... The stories of blacks start: Yo, man, you won't believe what a f**k has happened to me...
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Me: "Here comes the airplane!" Baby: Opens mouth. Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
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Two hunters are out in the wood when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator:"My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies:"Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead. There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter seys,"Ok, now what?"
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Went to a Muslim birthday party the other day. It was great fun, we blew up a bouncy castle and then had a really intense game of pass the parcel.
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I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers
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Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
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How do you know when a baby is a dead baby? The dog plays with it more.
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Want to hear a clean joke? The boy took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a man.
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