Joke #2779

In a monastery senior sister announces to other sisters: I have a good and a bad news for you. The good one is that they have broughts to use a lot of carrots. All the sisters start whistling happily. But one of them asks: What are the bad news? Carrots came grated.
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has 54.45 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: black humor

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Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"
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has 33.60 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: black humor, fish, wife
Old man: "Can you give me an erection?" Faith Healer: "I can make the blind see, make the lame walk and I can even cure cancer. But, I'm sorry I cannot raise the 'dead'."
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has 76.45 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, death, old people
Chuck Norris has travelled many places and seen many faces. So too has his boot.
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has 46.02 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Chuck Norris, travel
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers". She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?" To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."
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has 66.72 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp? The kids come back.
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has 42.76 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: black humor, jewish, kids
One step forward, 12 floors down.
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has 64.73 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: black humor
What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion. You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
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has 37.14 % from 292 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting, morbid
How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred? On the fingers!
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has 26.59 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: black humor, math
A guy has a bad habit: He loves to hit pedestrians while he drives. So one day he's driving andsees an old lady with a cane and he decides to control his urge to swerve and hit her but he can't. Later, he sees a kid skating and can't resist hitting the kid. Finally, he decides he needs help from above so he goes to a church and asks the pastor for help. So after church, the pastor invites him to his house for lunch. They get in the car and start to drive down the street, and just as he starts to tell the pastor about his problem, he sees an old blind man walking down the street. He swerves toward him but misses, and the pastor says, "Don't worry. I got him with the door!"
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has 71.59 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, church, kids, love
So it's the weekend, and I'm on my back patio when I get this idea to call up my coroner friend Bob. "Bob's not here," his wife says, "he's at work." "Sheesh!" I think. "Poor guy doing autopsies on a Sunday." So I call him on his cell. "What gives, bro,?" I ask. "Homicide," he says. "The higher-ups need a report ASAP. I'll be starting in just a few minutes." I Josh Bob a little. "I'll be thinking of you, buddy. Right now, I'm basting barbecue sauce on a rack of baby-backs and I'm getting ready to open a frosty beer." "Not much different here," he says. "I'm about ready to crack open a cold one myself."
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has 64.09 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, friendship, time, work