I got in trouble during high school for masturbating in the showers. Apparently it completely ruined the trip to Auschwitz.
There are only two things to worry about: Either you are well, or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if your sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about. But if you die, there are only two things to worry about. Either you will go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry.
What's better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags.
Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever. Me: What's that hunny? Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk. Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
What rule could stop HIV in Africa? Sex after dinner only.
If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?
What's the difference between an apple and a black man? None! They both hang from trees.
Q: What's the difference between morbid and black humour? A: Well, black humour is like 10 children in one rubbish bin, whereas morbid humour is like one child in 10 rubbish bins.
Q: Whats the difference between a box full of dead babies and a cadillac? A: I don't have a cadillac in my garage.
I just ended a long-term relationship today. I'm not too bothered, it wasn't mine.
Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first? A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!