Joke #5873

I got in trouble during high school for masturbating in the showers. Apparently it completely ruined the trip to Auschwitz.
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Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
Vote: has 64.12 % from 186 votes. Send joke:
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The judge asks the murderer: Why did you kill that old lady? For money.. But you got only 20 cents Yes, but killing five of them would already make a dollar.
Vote: has 54.06 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
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What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
Vote: has 32.50 % from 94 votes. Send joke:
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A pretty lady is standing on the side of a bridge, looking over it and thinking about jumping off. A homeless alcoholic man comes up to her as he was walking nearby. The lady notices the man coming and says: "Go away! There's nothing you can say to me to change my mind, you cannot help me." "Well, if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why don't we have sex? At least I'll enjoy it" replies the man. "No way, you're disgusting, go away." The homeless man turns and starts walking away. The lady thinks: "Is that all you were going to say to me? Nothing more? Won't you try to convince me that life is worth living that I should not jump off? Where are you going?" The homeless man thinks: "I have to make it down to the bottom. If I hurry, you'll still be warm."
Vote: has 77.71 % from 285 votes. Send joke:
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Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner? So they can take bubble baths.
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First cannibal: "I can't find anything to eat!" Second cannibal: "But the jungle's full of people."  First cannibal: "Yes, but they're all very unsavory."
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Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico." The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they’ll need – a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the second guy isn’t able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him. The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up – he’s got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?" The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a 'pinata'?"
Vote: has 73.74 % from 82 votes. Send joke:
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How do you make a baby drink? Stick it in the blender.
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Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt was almost killed in a traffic accident? A: Some dick cut her off.
Vote: has 32.71 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
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Woman patient: "Doctor I was suffering so much that I wanted to die." Doctor: "You did the right thing to call me."
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More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor