I got in trouble during high school for masturbating in the showers. Apparently it completely ruined the trip to Auschwitz.
Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.
Q: What's more offensive than a truck full of dead babies? A: Taking them out with pitchforks.
A very old woman realizes that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart. Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of the heart. He tells her that the heart is located two inches below the left nipple. The old woman hangs up the phone, takes careful aim and shoots herself in the left knee.
Q: How do you get a Jew to win a race? A: Drop a quarter at the finish line.
I was walking down the street to a video store last night to rent a porno movie when I saw a woman being raped. Saved myself a fiver.
How do you make a baby drink? Stick it in the blender.
What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag.
Q: What do the Jews hate most about the Holocaust? A: The cost.
Why was the cannibal looking peeky? Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.