Joke #2784

I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment about their mustache, and suddenly she is not your friend anymore...
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has 66.43 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: life

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What's a skunk's philosophy of life? Eat, stink and be merry.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, life
There were two brothers. One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful. His brother, on the other hand, was bad and did all the things that men should not do and didn’t care who he hurt. The bad brother died. The good brother missed him despite his ways. Finally, years later, the good brother died and went to Heaven. Everything was beautiful and wonderful there and he was very happy. One day he asked God where his brother was, as he hadn’t seen him there. God said that he was sorry but his brother lived a terrible life and went to Hell instead. The good brother then asked God if there was any way for him to see his brother. So God gave him the power of vision to see into Hell and there was his brother. He was sitting on a bench with a keg of beer under one arm and a gorgeous blonde on the other. Confused, the good brother said to God, "I am so happy that you let me into Heaven with You. It is so beautiful here and I love it. But I don’t understand, if my brother was bad enough to go to Hell, why does he have the keg of beer and a gorgeous blonde? It hardly seems like a punishment." God said unto him, "Things are not always as they seem, my son. The keg has a hole in it; the blonde does not."
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has 65.08 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, god, heaven, life
Bill Clinton walks out on to his front porch, and written in urine was "The president must go." Bill Clinton storms into his office and demaned to know who did it. So his two body guards run out to find out who it was. Five hours later the two gaurds come back in, they told Bill, "We have some bad news, and we have worse news." "What is the bad news?" asked Bill. "Well, the bad news is, we took a urine test, and it was his vice-president, Al Gore." "Whats the worst news?" asked Bill. "The worst news is that it is Hillary's hand writing!"
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has 50.22 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, political
John: "Hey can I borrow some money? I'm broke." Michael: "Get money from your job." John: "I got fired." Michael: "Why?" John: "My boss told me to leave all my problems behind the door, so I told him to stand outside." Michael: "This is why we are friends."
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: friendship, life, management, money, work
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach ad say "Congrats!". But none of them come and touch the man's Penis and say "Well done!". Moral: Hard work is never appreciated, only result matters...
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has 84.44 % from 217 votes. More jokes about: baby, life, management, work
There’s one good thing about life. It’s only temporary.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life
A Mom goes to the store shopping. She tells to the children, "Your father will return very drunk. Undress him down to the waist and put him to sleep." "Why to the waist", the children interested. "Because your father has a large snake below and it can bite you." The mother returned and her children met her at the door, "Mom! Mom! Dad came home! We undress him all and put him to sleep." "Are you undressed him the entire", mother worried? "What happened with the snake?" "Don't worry, Mom!" proudly answered the children. "The snake was strangled with dad's belt, her eggs were trampled and the nest was burnt."
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, drunk, life
Q. What is Snoop Dog's favorite weather? A. Drizzle
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has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: life, music, weather
The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life, time
I really do have a soft spot for my MIL. It's out in the garden behind the garage.
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: geography, life, mother in law