What is height of Activelaziness?
Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
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Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life.
When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
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Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
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This couple board this jetliner for a trip to New York.
The jetliner gets full of passengers and they are to go but, they notice that there are no attendants or pilots.
The door closes and the jetliner starts taxing down the taxiway towards the runway and starts to take off as they are airborne the intercom says:
Welcome to flight 1313 non stop to New York as you can see there are no attendants and or pilots this aircraft is totally computerized so sit back and enjoy the flight because there is nothing that can go wrong go wrong go wrong go wrong ...
At the gym:
Me: "What does this machine do?"
"Sir, that's a bench."
Me: "Perfect."
I watched Justin Bieber get shot in CSI and my brother asked "Why are you crying?"
I said "Because he didn't die in real life"
Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store?
A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
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Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles?
A: Mr. XMass
A colleague was planning a trip to my business office and asked if I could find him a hotel with exercise facilities.
I called several hotels, with no luck.
Finally, I thought I had found one.
I asked the receptionist if the hotel had a weight room.
"No," she replied, "but we have a lobby and you can wait there."
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Q: What fragrance makes you laugh?
A: Essense of humor.