Joke #9242

What is height of Activelaziness? Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life. When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.

You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.

The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.

Q: What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym? A: Curls.

Mom can i buy some heels? No. Mom can i buy a bra? No. Mom can i buy a dress? No. Mom can i buy a barbie doll? No. You never let me buy anything! Shut up, Justin.

If you really want to loosen your pectineus, you should skip the squats and let me stretch them out.

No time for gym? Please tell me how you watch 3 hours of TV every night.

A Russian captain is trying to explain to his comrades the effects of atomic bombs: "Now, imagine 20 no, 40, no... a 100 cases of vodka and noone to drink them!"

I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.

A couple is dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They phone for a cab, turn on a night light, cover their pet parakeet and put the cat out in the back yard. The taxi arrives, and they open the front door to leave. Suddenly the cat they put out scoots back into the house. They don't want the cat shut in there because she always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes back in. The cat runs upstairs, with the man in hot pursuit. The wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty. She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." A few minutes later the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," he says, as they drive away. "Stupid hag was hiding under the bed Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat butt downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!