What is height of Activelaziness?
Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
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Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life.
When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
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The church is struck by lightning.
The insurance company refuses to pay out for damages incurred, as there is a specific disclaimer clause for "An act of God", which, amongst others, lightning is classified as.
The priest goes to every household and asks for a donation to rebuild the church.
One Christian farmer protested, "I'm sorry, Pastor, but I can't give money to Somebody who set His own house alight!"
A man was drowning and asked God to help him.
A boat came by wanting to help the man.
The man refused and said that God would save him.
The man drowned and went to heaven.
He asked God why didn't you save me. God responded, "I sent a boat to get you and you did not get on."
I may look calm, but in my mind I have killed you three times already.
When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
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Air traffic controller:
"Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."
Airline pilot: "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
Air Traffic controller: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 737?"
I don't always go to the gym, but when I do, I make sure Facebook knows about it.
Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer?
A: Show us your calves!
The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.
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Chuck Norris can do push-ups in a sit-up position.
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