What is height of Activelaziness? Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life. When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
Girl: What if a boy hugs me? Mom: Say Don't Girl: What if he kisses me? Mom: Say stop. The next day when the girl goes to school her boyfriend hugs and kisses her well so she says as her mother told her to do and she quickly said DON'T STOP!...
Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store? A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me, "Come on man, you've got to want it! Come on push. You can do it." I hate being disturbed when I'm having a dump.
What do you do for exercise? I lift weights. What do you do for cardio? I lift weights faster.
Our folk not only knows how to read between the lines but also how to leave a record between the eyes.
An alcoholic addict just returned home from a rehab and he saw crate of empty bottles sitting at the corner and he goes there grab one and smacknit to the wall and said "you made my wife leave me." Grab another one and smashes it and said "you made me get fired from work" and grab another one which was full and was about to smash it and he brushes it and said "you were not part of them and open and drink...."
T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons. Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.