What is height of Activelaziness?
Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life.
When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
Vote:
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray this cushy life to keep.
I pray for toys that look like mice,
And sofa cushions, soft and nice.
I pray for gourmet kitty snacks,
And someone nice to scratch my back,
For windowsills all warm and bright,
For shadows to explore at night.
I pray I'll always stay real cool
And keep the secret feline rule
To never tell a human that
The world is really ruled by cats!
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
Vote:
Programming is like sex.
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Vote:
Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles?
A: Mr. XMass
Lenin dies and goes to Saint Peter to tell him whether to go to hell or heaven.
There was a big problem among the saints because the half of them wanted him to hell and the other half in Paradise.
Then they asked God, who of course tells them to go to Hell.
After a week of being in hell, devil visited St. Peter and complained: "This Lenin will destroy me. One week in Hell only and he has already started their courses and demonstrations."
St. Peter much forced agrees to accept Lenin in Paradise.
From that day and then there was a disturbing silence.
After two months St. Peter goes to heaven and he sees what?
Everyone sitting around and Lenin standing in the middle and talking.
Among the distinguished listeners the Saint recognises Jesus Christ.
He calls him and says: "God will punish you"
And he answers: "Who? God? But God does not exist."
This elliptical isn't the only thing getting my heart rate up.
Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer?
A: Show us your calves!
I've recently got a stalker.
He's everywhere all the time.
And his thing is that he sends other people to profess his love for me.
So I can be walking down the street and all of a sudden a lady will appear screaming: "JESUS LOVES YOU."
Q: How is a boss better than a wife?
A: A boss at least pays you for making your life miserable.
Vote: