What is height of Activelaziness? Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life. When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer? A: Show us your calves!
Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym? A: He was destroying his calves.
A social worker is facing a mugger with a gun. "Your money or your life!" says the mugger. "I'm sorry," the social worker answers, "I am a social worker, so I have no money and no life."
I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?"
When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat. The weights do.
Husband: Shall we try a new positon tonight? Wife: Sure. You stand by the ironing board, and I'll sit on the couch while drinking beer and farting.
Q: Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted? A: Because he was squatting.
After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whorehouse. He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20. The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left. He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room. To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting naked on the bed. So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life. Upon orgasm he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs. He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"
Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.