Teacher: “How do you spell “dog”?”
Boy: “D, o, g, enter.”
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Mother, "How was school today, Patrick?"
Patrick, "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"
Mother, "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"
Patrick, "What school?"
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TEACHER : What is further away, Australia or the Moon?
Pupil : Australia, you can see the Moon at night.
Why did the teacher put the lights on?
Because the class was so dim!
The child comes home from his first day at school.
Mother: “What did you learn today?”
Kid: “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”
Ms.Battle: Henry, I hope I didn't see you copying Casey's math test.
Henry: I hope you didn't either.
Two elderly gentlemen are playing cards on Saturday evening just as they have done for the past 50 years.
Gus, the elder, had been having problems remembering what cards were what, and usually needed help from his wife.
At the end of the card game Red said to Gus, "You did very good tonight. You didn't need any help at all. Why is that?"
Gus replied, "Why, ever since my wife sent me to that memory school, I haven't had any problems at all."
"Memory school? What memory school?"
Gus thought for a moment, "Oh, what's that flower that's red with thorns? A really pretty flower..."
"A rose?" asked Red.
"Yeah, that's it!"
Gus turned to his wife and mumbled, "Hey, Rose! What's the name of that memory school you sent me to?"
It's graduation day, and everybody's going to get their diploma but Josh.
At the assembly, the entire senior class stands up and shouts "Let Josh graduate, let Josh graduate!"
The principal agrees to give Josh one last chance.
"If I have five apples in my right hand and five in my left hand, Josh, how many apples do I have?" he asked.
Josh thought long and hard and then said: "Ten."
And the entire senior class stood up and shouted, "Give Josh another chance. Give Josh another chance!"
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“Dad, can you write in the dark?”
“I think so. What is it you want me to write?”
“Your name on this report card.”
Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.
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