Joke #2814

WTF? = Where's The Food?
Vote: has 48.34 % from 80 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In a stork?
Vote: has 53.18 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, kids, stupid
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said "what we are going to do today class is, I am going to give you a letter and I want someone to raise their hand and if l call on you l want you to give me a word that begins with that letter. So The teacher says "A" and Little Johnny immediately raises his hand but the teacher knows he will say asshole so she calls on Little Mary and she says "apple." "Very good" the teacher replied. "Okay, how about the letter B" Little Johnny once again immediately raises his hand and says "please please pick me" so the teacher thinks for a moment and inside her head knows he'll say bitch or bastard, so she skips over Little Johnny and calls on Little Brad and Little Brad replies "boat." "Very good Brad" the teacher says. "Now how about C" the teacher asks. Immediately Little Johnny's eyes light up and this time says "oh pick me, pick me l know one" the teacher instantly goes right to Little Bobby and he says "car." "That's a good one Bobby." So the teacher does the same thing with the letter D and ignores Little Jonny raising his hand. Now the teacher says "You're all doing a great job class, how about E" this time Little Johnny stands up waving his arms begging for a chance. So the teacher pauses for a solid 10 to 15 seconds and can't think of one bad word that begins with the letter E. So she reluctantly calls on Little Johnny and Little Johnny very nicely and calmly says "Elephant" and before the much-relieved teacher can even exhale, Little Johnny puts both hands up out in front of himself approximately two feet apart and yells out "with a fucking cock this big!
Vote: has 72.60 % from 61 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, school, sex, teacher
I need your help making a cream sauce.
Vote: has 36.23 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane..." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's fucking goofy!"
Vote: has 83.59 % from 363 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, divorce, lawyer
*How girls become friends* Omg I love your shoes! *How guys become friends* Excuse me sir, I see you fuck bitches, I myself, also fuck bitches.
Vote: has 70.36 % from 282 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, friendship
Boy in the bath with his mum. Boy says, "Whats that hairy thing mum ?" Mum replies, "That is my sponge." "Oh yes," says the boy, "The babysitters got one, I've seen her washing dads face with it ."
Vote: has 85.19 % from 749 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
A couple driving home hit and wounded a skunk on the road. The wife gets out and brings it back to the car. "We need to take it to a vet. Its shivering, it must be cold, what should I do?" she asks. Husband replies "Put it between your legs to keep it warm." "But it stinks!" she exclaims. "So hold its nose!"
Vote: has 83.64 % from 525 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
Been chatting to a 14 yr old on the internet. She is funny, s*xy and flirty. Now she tells me she is an undercover cop. How cool is that at her age!
Vote: has 59.66 % from 77 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, flirt
An elderly man and woman meet in a bar and get to talking. They are enjoying their conversation so much that, when the bar closes, they decide to continue at the woman's apartment. After a time, things start getting pretty romantic and they wind up in bed. Afterward, they're both laying there, staring at the ceiling. The old man is thinking, “Gosh, if I had known she was a virgin, I would have been more careful with her.” The old lady is thinking, “Geez, if I had known he could get it up, I would have taken off my panties.”
Vote: has 72.54 % from 52 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, dirty, old people, romantic, sex
The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...
Vote: has 73.88 % from 616 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, communication, dirty, lesbian, sex