Chuck Norris grabs Donald Trump by the pussy.
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When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
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Long time ago, in the land of Persia there lived a powerful king and his beautiful queen.
The queen was so gorgeous that the king's ministers were obsessed and craving to seduce her.
One day, the king got an invitation to visit the King of Ethiopia and left behind his queen and his kingdom.
Before leaving, he asked his three ministers to take good care of his queen and all his affairs during his absence.
All three pronounced their loyalty.
That night, when the queen was deep asleep the king placed a sharp blade inside her because he didn't trust his three ministers.
The following week, the king returned and summoned his three ministers to the palace.
He ordered all three to strip. To the king's surprise, two of them were penisless and the third was fine.
The two unfaithful ministers were immediately executed.
The king praised the third minister for his loyalty and asked him what he wished.
"Aaaah, aaaaaaaaah," he replied.
George W. Bush and Bill Clinton both decided to have biographies written about them.
George called him "The Three Most Powerful Men - Bush, Dick, and Colon".
Bill called his "Sex Between the Bushes"
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If Chuck Norris were president, he would protect the secret service.
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Q: If Hitler would have been a feminist what political system would he have come up with?
A: A dickhatership!
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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Q: What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer?
A: Chelsea.
Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.
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Chuck Norris never gets dirty.
The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
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The president of the USA lives in the White House.
Chuck Norris lives in the Roundhouse.
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