Joke #4763

A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment. “Do you have health insurance?” she asked. He replied in a raspy voice, “No health insurance.” The nun asked, “Do you have money in the bank?” He replied, “No money in the bank.” Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?” asked the irritated nun. He said, “I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun.” The nun became agitated and announced loudly, “Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God.” The patient replied, “Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law.”
Vote: has 84.20 % from 177 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?" His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven." "Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!" "What do you mean?" said Dad. "Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"
Vote: has 85.37 % from 2580 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why is a blood bank more profitable than a sperm bank? A: The sperm is handmade.
Vote: has 73.44 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, health, money
Whats the difference between a coffin and a condom? One you go in the other you come in!
Vote: has 68.60 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
What type of pussy does a priest get? Nun.
Vote: has 80.18 % from 260 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch? A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
Vote: has 52.50 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dirty, lesbian
A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York. At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady. What are both men thinking? Don't look down.
Vote: has 64.72 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, death, dirty, geography, sex
Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common? A: They are both meat substitutes.
Vote: has 80.22 % from 255 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, masturbation
My ex girlfriend has a tattoo of a shell on her inner thigh. If you put your ear up to it... you can smell the ocean.
Vote: has 39.74 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, fish
There was three boys called Zip, Dick and Piss They were in class and their teacher went out to make a phone call Right then Zip jumped on the table Dick jumped in the teachers chair And Piss was punchin everyone in sight 3 minutes later the teacher back in and said Zip down Dick out and Piss in the corner.
Vote: has 64.37 % from 107 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
If you think your life is bad, how would you like to be an egg? You get laid once in life, you only get eatten once in life, It takes 4 min to get hard, but only 2 min. to get soft, you share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all the only chick who ever sat on your face was your mother. Pass this to someone who needs a good lay, sorry I mean day.
Vote: has 53.30 % from 87 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty