Joke #8510

When you try to change a man, you basically undertake his mother’s role; And she made him eat spinach and study for school...
Vote: has 58.26 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage, school

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, “Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?” The little boy thinks for a moment and says, “NONE!” The teacher replies, “None, how do you figure that?” The little boy says, “if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence.” The teacher replies, “Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!” The little boy then says, “Teacher, let me ask you a question. There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?” The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies, “Well, I guess the one sucking her cone.” To which the little boy replies, “Actually, its the one with the wedding ring, but I do like the way YOU think!”
Vote: has 77.91 % from 187 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bird, marriage, school, teacher, work
Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married? A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
Vote: has 41.85 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: football, marriage, school, sport
Teacher: Ramu, why do you always get so dirty? Ramu: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
Vote: has 33.74 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: school, teacher
I’ve been happily married for ten whole years. And ten out of thirty isn’t bad.
Vote: has 85.78 % from 310 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage
SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles. KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs. TIRE -- male, because it goes bald and is often over-inflated. HOT AIR BALLOON: male, because to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it . . . and, of course, there's the hot air part. SPONGES -- female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water. WEB PAGE -- female, because it is always getting hit on. SHOE -- male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out. COPIER -- female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up -- because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed -- because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed. ZIPLOC BAGS -- male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them. SUBWAY -- male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up. HAMMER -- male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around. REMOTE CONTROL -- Definitely female, because it gives men pleasure; he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.
Vote: has 48.02 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage, technology, time, travel
Q: How did the pirate get through School? A: By sailing on high C's.
Vote: has 70.55 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: pirate, school
Coming home after check-up, 45 year old Jenna said to her husband: "The doctor said that my brust is like a 20 year old girl’ brust." Husband replied: "Did he mention about your 45 year old hanged to the floor ass?" "No", she said. "Your name wasn’t even mentioned."
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, marriage
What is the difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free.
Vote: has 45.29 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage
Yo mama so dumb,when she got an "F" on her test, she thought it mean Fantastic!
Vote: has 65.56 % from 88 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: school, stupid, Yo mama
Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other, boy was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop! The other Buddy says when my wife goes off on me I just don't listen. How do you do that? Says the other. It's easy! I turn off the light!
Vote: has 44.84 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage, wife