Joke #8510

When you try to change a man, you basically undertake his mother’s role; And she made him eat spinach and study for school...
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has 58.26 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: marriage, school

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A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, “Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?” The little boy thinks for a moment and says, “NONE!” The teacher replies, “None, how do you figure that?” The little boy says, “if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence.” The teacher replies, “Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!” The little boy then says, “Teacher, let me ask you a question. There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?” The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies, “Well, I guess the one sucking her cone.” To which the little boy replies, “Actually, its the one with the wedding ring, but I do like the way YOU think!”
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has 77.89 % from 197 votes. More jokes about: bird, marriage, school, teacher, work
Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married? A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
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has 38.75 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: football, marriage, school, sport
Wife to husband: ‘You certainly made a fool of yourself last night. I just hope nobody realised you were sober.’
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage
One man's marriage has gotten a bit dull, so he asks a friend if he has any ideas on how to add some excitement back to the marriage. "Well," his friend says, "you can always have an affair." "I can't do that! I will always be faithful to her." the troubled man replies. "If you convince her to let you do it, and then it won't be cheating." The man agrees to give it a try. The next time his wife seems to be in a very good mood he shares the idea with her that a new partner would add excitement. "Honey," his wife says, "that won't help our marriage. Believe me, I already tried it."
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has 51.87 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife
Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a commentator.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: food, marriage
"My son, this is your senior year at school so your mom and I decided that you’re going to be a doctor." "But what are you saying dad? You know very well that I’m not in a position even to... kill a mosquito."
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has 32.12 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, school
Even the story of Sir Walter Ralegh confirms that he put his brand new coat over bumps with mud for his wife to cross it. Why? Because he was on sea for 15 months and he desperately wanted to have sex. No normal man that is well in his brains would do this to his expensive coat.
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has 48.78 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, marriage, sex, wife
Boy: “Isn’t the principal a dummy!” Girl: “Say, do you know who I am?” Boy: “No.” Girl: “I’m the principal’s daughter.” Boy: “And do you know who I am?” Girl: “No,” Boy: “Thank goodness!”
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: school
The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said ''Did you get my drift?''.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father: No. Why do you ask that? Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
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has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: dad, school, teacher