If you want to feed an injured woodpecker, take it by the tail and hit it to the tree.
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Similar jokes
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Q: What's the difference between morbid and black humour?
A: Well, black humour is like 10 children in one rubbish bin, whereas morbid humour is like one child in 10 rubbish bins.
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Two boiled eggs in a pan, one says "Hot in here in it", other says "You think it's hot in here, wait till you get outside they smash your head in."
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Q: How do Asians name their babies?
A: They throw a can down the stairs.
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How are babies and the elderly alike?
Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.
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The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex.
But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
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A pretty lady is standing on the side of a bridge, looking over it and thinking about jumping off.
A homeless alcoholic man comes up to her as he was walking nearby.
The lady notices the man coming and says: "Go away! There's nothing you can say to me to change my mind, you cannot help me."
"Well, if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why don't we have sex? At least I'll enjoy it" replies the man.
"No way, you're disgusting, go away."
The homeless man turns and starts walking away.
The lady thinks: "Is that all you were going to say to me? Nothing more? Won't you try to convince me that life is worth living that I should not jump off? Where are you going?"
The homeless man thinks: "I have to make it down to the bottom. If I hurry, you'll still be warm."
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What do spinach and anal sex have in common?
If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
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What's purple, covered in pus and squeals?
A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
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A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday."
Well, you can imagine her disappointment.
The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn't get her anything.
She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?"
He replies, "You didn't use what I got you last year!"
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Q: What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies?
A: Hey y'all... Watch this!
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