If you want to feed an injured woodpecker, take it by the tail and hit it to the tree.
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How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole?
Stick a javelin through it's head.
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My friend's father died last night so I asked him "What was the cause of his father's death?"
He said, "A bus passed over his finger!"
I laughed and told him: "It is not a suitable cause."
My friend said: "When the bus crashed, his finger was on his nose!"
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Joke has 79.94 % from 345 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, death, friendship, travel
What do you call a baby on a stick?
A Kebabie.
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Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? An invalid.
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Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep?
A: When the big hand touches the small one.
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How did the tugboat get AIDS?
It was rear-ended by a ferry.
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My wife and I had been debating whether it was time to start a family when we saw a couple of cute kids, splashing and giggling in a paddling pool.
I looked at her and said, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
She smiled and said, "Yes, Gary..."
"That settles it, then," I replied. "We can't raise children if we're both paedos."
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Q: Why did Hitler kill himself?
A: He saw his gas bill.
What's blue and thrashes about on the floor?
A baby playing in a plastic bag.
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Q: How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne?
A: It's when the blind try to read your face.
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