If you want to feed an injured woodpecker, take it by the tail and hit it to the tree.
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A large number of Black soldiers died in Iraq war because every time their chief said:
"Get on the floor!" they stood up and started dancing.
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Q: Why did cow cross road?
A: To find to the udder side.
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Woman patient: "Doctor I was suffering so much that I wanted to die."
Doctor: "You did the right thing to call me."
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Doctor: "You have cataract in your eyes. But you need not worry It is hereditary."
Patient: "Death is also hereditary. Does it mean we should not worry about it?"
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Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty five-year-olds?
A: Because there are twenty of them!
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall?
Art.
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What do you call of 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
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Q: How many Ethiopians can you fit into a telephone booth?
A: All of them.
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What happened when the cannibal got a religion?
He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
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Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep?
A: When the big hand touches the small one.
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