What do you call of 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.
Doctor: "You have cataract in your eyes. But you need not worry It is hereditary." Patient: "Death is also hereditary. Does it mean we should not worry about it?"
How long does it take a black lady to shit? About 9 months.
How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head.
A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day, John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. David jumped in and saved him, and the medical director came to know of his heroic act. He immediately order David to be discharged from the mental hospital as he is OK. Doctor: "We have good news and bad news for you, David. The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your senses, since you are able to jump in and save another patient you are now a normal person. The bad news is that, the patient Mr. John, whom you have saved, hung himself in the toilet, and died." David: "Doctor, he didn’t hang himself. I hung him there to dry."
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion? "Ask your sister" "I don't have a..."
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other? A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
Why are little girls better than little boys? Because when you're finished using them as little girls, you can turn them over and use them as little boys.