What do you call of 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
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Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?"
Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."
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Q: What do you call a 100 lack people in the ocean?
A: An oil spill
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What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds?
A baby with a punctured lung.
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A: How do children in Baghdad do?
A: Bombastically.
Late in the night he regained consciousness.
He found himself in agonizing pain in the hospital's ICU, with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him.
He realized he'd obviously been in a serious accident.
She gave him a deep look straight into the eyes, and he heard her slowly say, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."
Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, "Can I feel your tits, then?"
That, my friends, is a positive attitude!
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Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?
A. They both live off dead Beatles.
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Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep?
A: When the big hand touches the small one.
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Why do cannibals make suitcases out of people's heads?
Because they're headcases.
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What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common?
Their last big hit was The Wall.
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Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner?
So they can take bubble baths.
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