What do you call of 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.
What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan.
Daughter: "That's it! I'll mary Arthur!" Mother: "But he is a lazy guy and heavy-drinker!" Father: "But you have to start with something!"
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Black humour is like a pair of legs. Not everyone has it.
Q: What do you call a flying Jew? A: Ashes.
What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion. You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
Q: Why doesn't Mexico have any teams competing in the Olympics? A: Because all of the Mexicans that can run, swim, and jump have left the country.
What's the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind? The dashboard.
What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl? Bring a dustpan to Auschwitz
Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks. The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here." The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this handrail is bloody low down"