Joke #1360

Q: Why did cow cross road? A: To find to the udder side.
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has 19.74 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: black humor

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An old couple is at a fair an the old man sees a helicopter ride for $50. The old man asks his wife, "I don't have much time left. Can I take I ride in one of them helicopters?" His wife responds, "Oh well that's way too expensive." The man running the helicopter rides as a pilot hears their conversation and makes them a deal. "Hey, I'll take you on a ride for free, but you can't make one sound. If you do, then you have to pay $50." says the pilot. The couple climbs in the helicopter. The pilot takes off and does awesome tricks with the helicopter. The couple never made a sound. The pilot lands the helicopter and says, "Wow, impressive, usually people make so much noise on these rides." The old man says, "Well, I almost made a noise when my wife fell out of the helicopter, but these rides are too expensive."
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has 75.92 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: black humor, couple, death, money, old people
A few days after her husband's death, a grieving widow accidentally receives an e-mail from a man waiting for his wife in Miami. The e-mail reads: Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P.S. Sure is hot down here.
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has 80.84 % from 588 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, husband, wife
What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ? A Pedophiles ass.
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has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.
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has 58.80 % from 166 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad
W: Where did Lucy go during the bombing? A: Everywhere.
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has 73.45 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: black humor
If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?
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has 31.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, kitty
Came out the gym the other day and cop asked me how I got that body. I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the trunk and there she was"
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has 75.59 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, cop, death, gym
The FBI had an open position for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were completed, they had narrowed the field down to 3 possible agents. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances.' Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair... we need you to kill her' The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.' The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife home.' Finally, the last man was given the same instructions, to kill his wife. He took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the man, wiping the sweat from his brow. 'Some idiot loaded the gun with blanks' he said. 'I had to strangle that bitch to death'.
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has 95.15 % from 33341 votes. More jokes about: black humor
First cannibal: "Come and have dinner in our but tonight." Second cannibal: "What are you having?" First cannibal: "Hard-boiled legs."
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ? One's composing, the other is decomposing.
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has 48.11 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, music