Joke #4131

A boy tells his friend that he has a crush on his teacher. The second boy says, ‘Man, that is disgusting.’ The first boy says, ‘What? Everyone has a crush on their teacher.’ The second boy says, ‘Yeah, but you’re home-schooled.’

Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.

Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card." Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

Teacher: "Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus four?" Class: "At once!"

Phil: What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher? Cheryl: I don’t know. Phil: He has only one pupil.

In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.

Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with "t". Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.

Stacy: You know Tracy, sometimes I don't understand life. Tracy: What do you mean? Stacy: When we were a younger, we learnt to talk and to walk. At school, we always have to sit down and shut up...

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". Student: I is the.... Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I". Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

An Ohio State University mortician student walked into the embalming room where a cadaver was lying on the table. Confident that he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his instructor, he began to examine the body. When he rolled it over, he was shocked to see a cork in the man's butt. Mystified, he pulled it out and immediately heard the University of Michigan fight song come out of the guy's butt. Shaken by what had happened, he quickly shoved the cork back into it's original resting place. He then ran to get his instructor, nervously shouting, "Sir, you must come, you won't believe what I discovered!" Annoyed by the interruption, the professor said, "Let's take a look at this astounding discovery." When they entered the morgue, the teacher was also surprised to see the cork, so he approached the table and promptly removed the cork. Upon hearing the University of Michigan fight song, he quickly replaced the cork in the cadaver's butt and said, "What's so surprising about that? I've heard thousands of assholes sing that song!"

Q: What's long and hard on a blackman? A: The first grade.