A boy tells his friend that he has a crush on his teacher.
The second boy says, ‘Man, that is disgusting.’
The first boy says, ‘What?
Everyone has a crush on their teacher.’
The second boy says, ‘Yeah, but you’re home-schooled.’
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What is the longest word in the English language?
Smiles: there is a mile between the first and last letters!
Q: What is the difference between an ISIS boot camp and a local school?
A: How should I know? I just fly the drones.
If you majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried.
The only place you are now really qualified to get a job is in Ancient Greece.
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Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
Eleven year old’s environmental studies essay on the effect of oil pollution:
"When my mum opened a tin of sardines last night it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead."
Chuck Norris got into Cambridge... without any qualifications.
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Teacher: Where are the Great Plains located?
Tommy: At the great airports!
Teacher:Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria:This is it.
Teacher:Well done. Now class, who found America?
Class:Maria did.
Q: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
A: A teacher.
Vote:
A Pakistani boy took admission in an American school...
Teacher: "Whats your name?"
Boy: "Nadir"
Teacher: "No, now you are in America, your name is Johnny from today."
Boy went home and his mother asked: "How was the day Nadir?"
Boy: "I am an American now, so call me Johnny."
Mom and Dad both got offended and beat him up. Next day he was back to school all bruised...
Teacher: "What happened Johnny?"
Boy: "Ma'm, just 6 hours after I became American, I was attacked by two Pakistani terrorists."