The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
What do cows read at the breakfast table? The moospaper.
Q: What do you call a cow playing with its self? A: Beef stroganoff.
Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."
First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like? Second Caribou: Owlgebra.
What do frogs do with paper? Rip-it!
Question: Why did the Army send do many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? Answer: They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.
First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros? Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
Why does the chicken is sad? Because his dad is a cock. Why does the chicken is even more sad? Because he faces the same future.
How come sharks don’t attack lawyers? From professional courtesy.