What goes black white black white...?
A penguin rolling down a hill!
What's black and white and laughing?
The penguin who pushed him!
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How do you make a cat be a dog?
Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match.
It will go 'WOOF.'
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot?
Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
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If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey.
The country there now is only an impostor.
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How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly?
Just a phew.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Owls say.
Owls say who?
Yep, that they do.
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Rabbit: "I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I m all out of carrots. What should I do?"
Friend: "Don't worry; be hoppy!"
Q: Where did the newlywed horses stay?
A: In the bridle suite.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.