What goes black white black white...? A penguin rolling down a hill! What's black and white and laughing? The penguin who pushed him!
I can teach my cat any trick he wants to do!
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual? No, only medium rare.
A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe, and the giraffe gets waay too drunk. The bartender says, "Hey! you can't leave that lyin' there!" The guy goes, "that's not a lion its a giraffe!"
Q. What’s got 4 legs and bleeds? A. Half a spider!
Q: What is a bee that cant make up his mind? A: A maybe.
I feel like every nature documentary is directed by a psychopath. "Here's the cutest baby animal ever." "Now let's watch something eat it."
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Yo mama is so hairy, Kingkong got jealous.
What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand? Cows-mopolitan!