What are the spots on black-and-white cows? Holstaines.
Why did the frog go to the mall? Because he wanted to go hopping.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved." The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."
Me: Hey look its Nemo! Worker: Sir, that's a clown fish. Me: Bitch, that's a Nemo!
Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back? They re always switching their tails.
What band is a cow favorite? Moody Blues.
Who held the baby octopus to ransom? Squidnappers.
A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet.
How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented? They were very impressed.
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam.