What kind of rocks do young geologists play with?
Marbles.
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"Madam, your son just called me an ugly swine!"
The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..."
Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter?
A: Sue.
Q: And his son?
A: Bill.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
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Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
A: Because then the children have to play inside.
What is a bunny's favorite music?
Hip-hop.
Awwww, kids. They blow up so fast...
Get it, kids grow up so fast.
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A little boy was taken to the dentist.
It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled.
"Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?"
"Chocolate, please," replied the youngster.
There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast.
On his way in he kicked a cow, pig, and a chicken.
So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal.
"What's the deal?" he asks.
His mom says "You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you." Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidentally kicked the cat.
The the boy says "Do you want me to tell him or should you?"