What kind of rocks do young geologists play with?
Marbles.
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Mary can't stand Sunday school, but her brother William doesn't have a problem with it.
So one day in Sunday school, Mary thinks, "The hell with it," and decides to go to sleep.
The teacher sees this and asks Mary a question to keep her awake.
"Mary, who created the heavens and the earth?"
William, who is sitting behind Mary, pokes her in the butt with his pencil. Mary wakes up and shouts, "God almighty!"
And the teacher says, "Yes. That's correct, Mary."
Mary goes back to sleep and the teacher asks her another question.
"Who died on the cross for our sins?"
William pokes Mary again. She wakes up and shouts, "Jesus Christ!"
Once again, she goes back to sleep.
This time the teacher asks, "Mary, what was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"
William pokes her again.
Mary wakes up and shouts, "If you don't stop poking me with that thing, I'm gonna break it off!"
How do you tell if a black girls pregnant?
Shove a banana up her vagina and if you pull it out half eaten then you got a monkey on the way.
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What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Breath!!!!
One day Pepito was having a shower with his father when he saw his fathers penis.
He asked his father what it was and his father replied "this is my racing car".
The next night Pepito heard moaning in his parents room, being curious he peeped in to see what was happening.
He then saw his father on top of his mother, while looking his father saw him and told him to go to his room.
"OK, but I'm not sure you're driving that racing car properly" replied Pepito.
Did you hear about the baby who swallowed a pin?
It was OK.
It was a safety pin.
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
One day, Muhammad's wife called him a pedophile.
In response, Muhammad asked his wife, "So, how does a 9-year-old know such a big word like that?"
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*Me when I turn 18*
Parents: Do this.
Me: Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free elf.
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.