A three-year-old boy fell eighteen feet into a zoo enclosure containing seven gorillas.
He was immediately rescued, not by zookeepers, but by one of the animals.
The 150 lb. female gorilla picked up the unconscious form of the boy and laid it at a door to be easily retrieved by zookeepers.
This cross-species rescue has resulted in thousands of dollars in donations to the zoo.
It is perhaps because of these donations that zookeepers have kept quiet about one vital detail, a hastily scrawled note tucked in the boy's collar: "Thanks; but we prefer fruit."
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Bears do not eat bears.
Tigers do not eat tigers.
Dogs do not eat dogs.
Cats stopped eating kebabs.
Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire?
A: He got arrested just like you would've.
The FAA has a device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. They point this thing at the windshield of the aircraft and shoot a dead chicken at about the speed the air-craft normally flies at it. If the windshield doesn't break, it's likely to survive a real collision with a bird during flight.
The British had recently built a new locomotive that could pull a train faster than any before it. They were not sure that its windshield was strong enough so they borrowed the testing device from the FAA, reset it to approximate the maximum speed of the locomotive, loaded in the dead chicken, and fired. The bird went through the windshield, broke the engineer's chair, and made a major dent in the back wall of the engine cab.
They were quite surprised with this result, so they asked the FAA to check the test to see if everything was done correctly. The FAA checked everything and suggested that they might want to repeat the test using a thawed chicken.
Two friends were walking through the woods when they thought they heard something.
They turned around and saw a big black bear coming towards them.
Both men started to run when one of them stopped to change into tennis shoes.
The second man said "You don't have time to change shoes. You can't outrun that bear!"
The first man said, "I know I can't outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you"!
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A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm.
He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'."
His wife says, "That's a duck."
He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."
Why couldn't the rabbit fly home for Easter?
He didn't have the hare fare.
A lady goes into a bar with her goose.
Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?"
Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose."
And the bartender says, "Excuse me, I was talking to the goose."
Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day?
He fell in love with the Grand National winner!
What do you call a trash bag full of mutilated laboratory monkeys?
Rhesus Pieces.
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