Joke #2987

A three-year-old boy fell eighteen feet into a zoo enclosure containing seven gorillas. He was immediately rescued, not by zookeepers, but by one of the animals. The 150 lb. female gorilla picked up the unconscious form of the boy and laid it at a door to be easily retrieved by zookeepers. This cross-species rescue has resulted in thousands of dollars in donations to the zoo. It is perhaps because of these donations that zookeepers have kept quiet about one vital detail, a hastily scrawled note tucked in the boy's collar: "Thanks; but we prefer fruit."

A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, and dirty Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go." The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad." "Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."

Q: What side of the cow gives the most milk? A: The utter side.

Why did the tadpole feel lonely? Because he was newt to the area.

Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear? A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.

What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties? "Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."

What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny? Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.

I got a cat the other day. I had to swerve, but I got it.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no I-Deer.

Why did the bareback performer ride his horse? Because it got too heavy to carry.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Owls say. Owls say who? Yep, that they do.