Why couldn't the rabbit fly home for Easter?
He didn't have the hare fare.
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Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs?
A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
Q: Why was the Easter Bunny so upset?
A: He was having a bad hare day!
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long?
A runny bunny.
Q: How do you know the Easter Bunny is really smart?
A: Because he's an egghead.
What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery?
A yeaster bunny.
What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote?
One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.
A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy.
A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks.
He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.
He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
Q: What do you call a naked deer?
A: Buck naked!
Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.
"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asks what's wrong.
"Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."