Joke #2267

Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would've.
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has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal

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What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn? A Moles Royce.
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Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
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If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it? Jawbreakers.
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Q: What is a zebra? A: A horse behind bars.
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One day, a priest was walking through a forest, when he came upon a pond. On the pond was a lily-pad, and on the lily-pad was the saddest frog the priest had ever seen! "Dear frog" the priest asked, "what is the matter? Why re you so sad?" "Well," said the frog, "I was not always a frog." "Tell me more" said the priest. "One day, I was waslking through these woods when I came upon a wicked witch. 'Stand aside witch' I said to her. But alas, she called me a nasty cheeky boy and turned me into a frog." "But that's terrible! Isn't there anything that can be done to reverse the spell?" asked the priest. "Well" said the frog, "if a kind person were to take me home for the night, feed me and put me to sleep on their pillow, I am sure I would wake up human again." "Well, this is your lucky day!" said the priest. So he took the frog home, fed him and put him to sleep on his pillow. And lo and behold, when he woke up the next morning, there was a 10 year old choir boy in his bead! "And that Your Honour, is the case for the Defence!"
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has 70.33 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, lawyer, priest
Q: What's worse than ants in your pants? A: Uncle.
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has 49.12 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, family, sex
What is the best advice to give a worm? Sleep late.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans? Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish.
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
A Guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says, "I bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus can't play." The people in the bar look around and someone fetches out an old guitar. The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes up the strings and starts playing the guitar. The octopus' owner pockets the fifty bucks. The next guy comes up with a trumpet, octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks it's lips and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy hands over another fifty bucks to the octopus' owner. The bar owner has been watching all this and disappears out back, coming back a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts them on the bar and says to the guy, "Now if your octopus can play that I'll give you a hundred dollars." The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, and has another look from a different angle. Puzzled, the octopus' owner comes up and says, "What are you pissing around for? Hurry up and play the damn thing!" The octopus says, "Play it? If I can figure out how to get it's pajama's off, I'm gonna screw it!"
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has 66.92 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, disgusting, money, music
How do you know when a crab is drunk? It walks forwards.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, drunk