Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would've.
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, about half hour later they were both killed by a train.
Chuck norris once killed a bear with an imaginary knife.
What's green with red spots? A frog with the chicken pox!
A black guys is walking through the woods, he starts to hear a sounds. It goes ching chong wu. So he starts to walk to wear he heard the sound. Soon enough he comes across a Chinese guy and a river. The black guy ask was that noise. The Chinese guy say, every time I throw a quarter in this river it tells me a name of an old relative. See watch, Chinese guy throws a quarter, ching chong chun. The black guy says let me try. He throws a quarter in and the river says, chimpanzee.
Why did the frog cross the road? Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before? Deja phew.
Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes? In a pellet court!
What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt? Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.
What happened to the cannibal lion? He had to swallow his pride!
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!" "What!?" asked the duck's former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"