Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire?
A: He got arrested just like you would've.
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Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay!
What would you do if your were in a large room, all sealed up, no windows, the door was locked, and there were 5 hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, 1 laywer, and you had a gun with only two bullets?
Shoot the lawyer twice.
Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
Vote:
Spider: Why are you terrified by me?
Me: Well the reasons I had have all now been replaced by the fact you can talk.
What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond?
He had him newt-ered.
Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
Vote:
A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head.
The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow?
A tail pail.