Joke #3000

What is the hardest part of making shoe fly pie? Putting the shoes on the flies!
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has 12.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: kids

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"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"
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has 73.93 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, husband, kids
At a poor-side of Athens, a kid were on the street and was playing. A cop who was crossing around that street, saw him and asked him: "What are you doing there kiddo?" "I’m playing..." "What are you playing?" "Oh, well... I collect sand, I pour some water in and I add then some poop and I’m making little weaklings!" "What kind of weaklings?" "Cops..." The cop, furious, slaps the kid and screams: "Get the hell away from here and run to your house! I never wanna see you wondering around here." For the next two days, the kid didn’t show up. The third day, the kid was on the same spot, playing. The cop, saw him again and approached the kid. "What are you doing there?" "I’m playing..." "What?" "Oh, well... I collect sand, then pour some water in and I’m making little weaklings." "Congratulations! enthusiastic said the cop. And what kind of weaklings you’re making there?" "Firefighters...!" "So, how come you’re not putting any poop on them as well?" "Cause, whenever I do, they come out cops...!"
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: cop, game, geography, kids
During the Iraq War, As a soldier was saying good-bye to his family, his five-year-old son, James, held his leg and started pleading not to leave. "No, Daddy, please don't go!" he kept repeating. They were beginning to make a scene when his wife, desperate to calm him, said, "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza." Immediately, James loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a calm voice said, "'Bye, Daddy."
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has 51.58 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: family, food, kids, military, war
A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game. Oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn't understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents. Surprised, the boyfriend asked, what do you mean? The blonde girlfriend replied all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!'
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has 62.10 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: football, kids, money
"Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?" "First of all, don't give him anything to drink."
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has 78.03 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health, kids
A mother and father took their 6 year old son to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother's, and asked her why. She told her son, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger willies than his dad. His mother replied, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play. Shortly after, the boy returned again. He promptly tells his mother, "Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."
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has 71.37 % from 220 votes. More jokes about: age, kids, stupid
Bob asks his grandmother: "Granny, tell us, how my sister and me came to life?" "Your sister, Bob, came from heaven and a stork has brought you to us." Bob then, turns to his sister and whispers: "Should we tell her the truth, or should we let her die without knowing…"
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: kids
Q: What sports team is the least safe around children? A: The Nashville Predators.
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has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: kids, sport
Kids dream about having superpowers. Superpowers dream about having Chuck Norris.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
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has 75.60 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: baby, car, kids, wife