Joke #3046

Q: And do you have a locker in that room? A: Yes sir, I do.
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has 10.79 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

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A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was standing. St. Peter greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line into a comfortable chair by his desk. The lawyer said, “I don’t mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?” St. Peter replied, “Well, I’ve added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!”
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: age, heaven, lawyer, work
A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his former accountant. The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The accountant does not answer. The Godfather asks again, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The attorney interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you." The Godfather says, "Well ask him where my damn money is!" The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the 3 million dollars is. The accountant signs back, "I don’t know what you are talking about." The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He doesn’t know what you are talking about." The Godfather pulls out a 9 millimeter pistol, puts it to the temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, "Ask him again where my damn money is!" The attorney signs to the accountant, "He wants to know where it is!" The accountant signs back, "OK! OK! OK! The money is hidden in a brown suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!" The Godfather says, "Well... what did he say?" The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He says…go to hell... that you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger."
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has 78.23 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: accountant, lawyer, money
A Preacher and a lawyer both go to heaven at the same time and the Preacher receives his gifts that he had expected and he sees that the lawyer gets this big house and pool. The Peacher asked God: "Why is it that I get the things I've wanted, but the lawyer gets all that?" God Replied: "He is the first lawyer to make it into Heaven."
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has 32.63 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: god, heaven, lawyer
A man needing some legal help walks into a law firm. He asks an attorney: "If I give you $300 to help answer two legal problems I have, will you help me?" The attorney replies: "Sure, what's the other question?"
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has 77.81 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
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has 80.19 % from 432 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, lawyer
He was a very keen lawyer, he even named his daughter ‘Sue’.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? A: About three pounds, including the urn.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A guy was talking with his friend: I’ve managed to separate from my wife in common agreement: she gets the house and I get the car and desk. Ok, but how about your finances? The lawyer takes care of those...
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has 27.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: car, lawyer, money, wife
Arguing with a lawyer is like mud wrestling with a pig: after a while you realize that the pig actually enjoys it.
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has 87.12 % from 299 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
In the High Court: Do you know what you get for false testimony? Yes, they promised me a Mercedes...
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: car, lawyer