Joke #3048

Q: What did the big turnip say to the little turnip A: When did you turn up?

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she gave your kids a "Yo' Grandmama Is So Stupid" joke book.

Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?" A: "You can't tuna fish."

Kid to her mother: "If you hurt me I'll make you pregnant by a needle." Mother: "How? My sweet it isn't possible." Kid: "I'll insert the needle to daddy's condom!"

A mother and her son are sitting on an airplane, which is ready to take off. The son admires the parked plains’ through the window. At one point, he turns to his mother, which was reading a magazine, and pops the question: "Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?" The child’s mother, bored to think of a reasonable answer, consultant him to ask the flight attendant. Therefore, it happened: "Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?" little boy asks the flight attendant. Then, with a smile on her face, stewardess replied: "Did your mom told you to ask me?" The boy shook his head positively. So, she says back: "Tell your mother, that our company knows better and.. pulls out in time!"

If a wizard was knocked out by Dracula in a fight what would he be? Out for the count!

Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.

A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you." The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?" "No" says the boy, "he minded his own fucking business."

A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? Dating children.

An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."

Mary can't stand Sunday school, but her brother William doesn't have a problem with it. So one day in Sunday school, Mary thinks, "The hell with it," and decides to go to sleep. The teacher sees this and asks Mary a question to keep her awake. "Mary, who created the heavens and the earth?" William, who is sitting behind Mary, pokes her in the butt with his pencil. Mary wakes up and shouts, "God almighty!" And the teacher says, "Yes. That's correct, Mary." Mary goes back to sleep and the teacher asks her another question. "Who died on the cross for our sins?" William pokes Mary again. She wakes up and shouts, "Jesus Christ!" Once again, she goes back to sleep. This time the teacher asks, "Mary, what was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" William pokes her again. Mary wakes up and shouts, "If you don't stop poking me with that thing, I'm gonna break it off!"