Q: What did the big turnip say to the little turnip
A: When did you turn up?
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How do teddy bears keep their den cool in summer?
(They use bear conditioning!)
Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes?
A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps.
Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
What did the red light say to the green light?
Don't look I'm changing!
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real.
It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Vote:
Little Johnny's brother, Little Jimmy, was in the toilet throwing Johnny's toys in the toilet.
Johnny saw his brother doing this and yelled "JIMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
His brother replied "Next time you'll think twice before you don't let me play with you."
Little Jimmy threw a toy car in the toilet and said "Bye bye, racecars!"
Little Johnny stuck little Jimmy head in the toilet saying "Bye bye brother!"
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Zany
Zany who?
Zany body home?
Vote:
They said the baby looked like me.
Until they turned him the right way up.
If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!
A farmer brought his daughter a little pot-belly pet pig.
She called it "Stinky" when she played with it out in the yard, but she called it "Ballpoint" when it was in the sty.
"Tell me," asked her father, "Why do you have two names for your pig?"
"That’s easy," she replied, "Ballpoint is just his pen name."
While having their evening dinner together, a little girl looked up at her father and asked, "Daddy, you're the boss in our family, right?"
The father was very pleased to hear it and confidently replied, "Yes my little princess."
The girl then continued, "That's because mommy put you in charge, right?"