Joke #3048

Q: What did the big turnip say to the little turnip A: When did you turn up?
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has 31.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: kids

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Teacher: What's 2 and 2? Pupil: 4 Teacher: That's good. Pupil: Good? That's perfect!
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has 58.55 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: kids, math, school, student, teacher
Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator? A: The elevator can raise a child.
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has 52.29 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: football, insulting, kids, sport
When Chuck Norris was a child, he would play with real logs instead of Lincoln logs.
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, kids
Two starving cannibals, a father and son, were out trying to get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came a little old man. The son said, "Oh Dad, there’s one." "No," said the father. "There’s not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We’ll just wait." A little while later, along came a really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he’s big enough." "No," the father said. "We’d all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We’ll just wait." About an hour later, there came this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there’s nothing wrong with that one Dad, let’s eat her." "No," said the father. "Were not going to eat her either." "Why not?" asked the son. "Because, we’re going to take her back alive, and eat your mother."
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has 68.80 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: kids
It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father. "Let’s try to make this look natural" she said. "Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder." The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?"
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has 53.07 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dad, graduation, kids
As a member of the organization that installs computer systems aboard Navy ships, I am mindful of how important the off-ship e-mail capabilities are to sailor morale, especially when some vessels are deployed for up to six months. One day while shopping at the base commissary, I noticed another crucial aspect of my job. I was behind a frazzled mother with two active children, and as I watched, she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case. "If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!"
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has 51.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: computer, kids, navy, technology, time
"Johny, what is the difference between being sober and being drunken?" Johny: "When I was drunk I didn't need to buy a ticket to the carousel." "Ok, and when you were sober and wanted to go to the carousel what has happened then?" "The carousel man needed to center the whole carousel, of course. The left half of the carousel was for me and the right one for all the small children."
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has 38.74 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: drunk, kids, little Johnny