Joke #3072

Q: How did the sand get wet? A: The sea weed!
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Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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How do you suffocate a nigger? Tell him there's weed inside the pillowcase.
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More jokes about: black people, racist, weed
The town’s local council remarks that the best lawyer in town never made a donation to charity tendency. To convince him, the mayor calls him in his office: Sir, I remarked that you’re revenue reached a number of $600.000. With all these, you never made a donation to the charity... If you looked into my files, did you also remark that my mother is sick, and the medicaments she needs exceed her funds? No... answers mayor. In second place, my brother, war veteran, is condemned in a wheelchair and he’s blind. The mayor started apologizing, but was interrupted: And more, my sister died into a car accident and left tree children orphans. Stunned, the mayor says: I didn’t know, please accept my apologies... But the lawyer continues: I don’t see why I should give you any money, if I don’t ever give them money...
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There are three moms. A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde. They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed" They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse. I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her. Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis"
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If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up
Vote: has 52.68 % from 102 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, drug, duck, weed
Q: What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor? A: Drug Abuse.
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

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Did you hear about the new Exorcist Movie? They got the Devil to come in to take the Priest out of the child.
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Q: If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving? A: The cop!
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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Little Mathieu was digging in his garden a hole. The next door neighbor saw him and asked; "Why are you digging the dirt Mathieu?" "My goldfish died, and I have to bury it." "Oh, I’m so sorry! But, isn’t that hole too big for a small goldfish?" "Indeed, it is! But my goldfish is inside your stupid cat!"
Vote: has 70.70 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

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Yo Momma so stupid, she thought seaweed is something fish smoke.
Vote: has 78.82 % from 429 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fish, stupid, weed, Yo mama