Joke #3072

Q: How did the sand get wet? A: The sea weed!
Vote: has 43.73 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

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Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that's pretty close.
Vote: has 52.38 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

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On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah." The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did." The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."
Vote: has 80.10 % from 214 votes. Send joke:

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Me: "I only smoke weed because of Cancer." Mom: "You don't have Cancer!" Me: "So it's working..."
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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"Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?" "First of all, don't give him anything to drink."
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.
Vote: has 49.93 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, sex, single, women
There was three guys a sex addict a weed addict and a alcoholic they all went to hell for their sin and was standing in front of the devil. The devil made a deal with them saying I will lock you in a room with what ever you did for a 1000 years and if you get over any of your sins I will send you back to the land of the living, Earth. So the sex addict got locked in a room full of virgins, the alcohol addict got locked in a room full of beer, the weed addict locked in a room full of weed. 1000 years later the Devil goes to the sex addict he comes out saying "Aww my dick hurts I'm never having sex again", poof back to earth. Open the alcoholic room and he say "Im never having beer", and gets sent back to Earth. Then the Devil opens the weed addicts room and the Weed addict punches the Devil in the face and says "you forgot my lighter bitch!"
Vote: has 82.40 % from 178 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How do you know when you are stoned? A: When you are too phoned to stone home.
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What do you call money that grows on trees? A: Marijuana
Vote: has 80.60 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What did the little black kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.
Vote: has 74.40 % from 125 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, Christmas, kids, mean