Joke #3118

Q: What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe? A: He called a toe truck.
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Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move? A: The splits!
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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Teacher: What happened in 1869? Student: Mahatma Gandhi was born. Teacher: What happened in 1873? Student: Gandhi was four years old
Vote: has 64.76 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris once gave a box of his old watches to a group of kids. These kids are now known as the power rangers.
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So God is getting a bit bored in heaven, and he asks his archangel Michael, "Michael, I need to get away from it all for a bit. Where should I go to clear my head?" Michael replies, "Well, you could always go to Pluto. You could go create a mountain and ski, have a bit of fun." God says, "No, I don't think so. I don't do so well with the cold, and frostbite was definitely not one of my better creations." The archangels says, "Alright, well you could always try Mercury. It's nice and warm, you could just take a bit of time to relax, get a nice tan." "Michael," God says, "do you see how white I am? I would burn to a crisp." Michael replies, "Alright, well then why don't you go to Earth?" "Fuck that," God says, "last time I went there I got some girl pregnant and I never heard the end of it."
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Happy Father's Day to a dad who was smart enough to teach me how to mow the lawn so he would't have to.
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A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."
Vote: has 20.85 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children. You put groceries in the other.
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Q: What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street? A: Put them in a barking lot.
Vote: has 46.03 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Zany Zany who? Zany body home?
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A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull." The driver gets annoyed as the kids continues to yammer on. "If my dad was an rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick." The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, "What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?" The kid smiles and says, "I'd be a bus driver."
Vote: has 70.18 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

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