Joke #3050

Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A: We have to stick together.
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has 53.25 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: kids

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Little Johnny: "I've piss may I go out?" Teacher : "Piss is an impolite word instead you say I've number 1." Jimmy: "May I go out? I want to shit." Teacher: "Shit is also a bad word it is better to use number 2 instead." Ronald: "There is a wind in my belly give me please a number for it."
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has 69.66 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, kids, teacher, vulgar
Little Johnny was at school one day when the teacher asked the kids if they could use the word definitely in a sentence. Well the first little girl raised her hand and said, "Well the trees are definitely green." The teacher said "No not really because the trees turn yellow red and brown in the fall." The next little boy raised his hand and said, "The sky is definitely blue." The teacher said, "No not really because the sky can be all different colors." From the back of the room little Johnny raised his hand and asked, "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher said, "No Johnny of course not, that’s silly." Then Johnny said, "Well then I definitely shit my pants!"
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has 57.83 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: fart, kids, little Johnny, school, teacher
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?  A: She liked kids...
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, doctor, kids
Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot,"he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed. "Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out. "Matt`s riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex." Mom and dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" the startled father asked. "Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied.
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has 85.32 % from 2181 votes. More jokes about: car, doctor, kids, sex
What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath!!!!
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has 24.44 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: kids
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day. One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby? One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies. Rape
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has 46.90 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, racist
Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, wife
A little girl took her report card home and showed it to mom. The mother was very disappointed by all the very low grades. "Well look on the bright side" said the child, "you know for sure I don't cheat."
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: kids, school, stupid
Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster? A: Hello, hello.
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has 43.52 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: kids
Dad tries to persuade his son to eat the egg he has prepared for him: "Eat your egg my child to become as big as daddy!" "I do not want," says the little one. "Eat it my boy to become strong and powerful." "I’m telling you, no!" insists the youngest. "My dear son eat your egg to make your bird grow." And the mom from the inside "George, you eat the egg… I’ll make burgers for the kid!"
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has 58.01 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: bird, dirty, food, kids