Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue?
A: We have to stick together.
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Voice: "This is my father."
The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink.
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A: Booger King!!!
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"Because I helped her."
"But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?"
"I helped her eat her gummy bears."
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Q: Why do two skunks argue?
A: Because they like to kick up a stink.
Why do ghetto people always name their kids things they cant afford like Diamond, Mercedes, Car Insurance?
Vote:
So God is getting a bit bored in heaven, and he asks his archangel Michael, "Michael, I need to get away from it all for a bit. Where should I go to clear my head?"
Michael replies, "Well, you could always go to Pluto. You could go create a mountain and ski, have a bit of fun."
God says, "No, I don't think so. I don't do so well with the cold, and frostbite was definitely not one of my better creations."
The archangels says, "Alright, well you could always try Mercury. It's nice and warm, you could just take a bit of time to relax, get a nice tan."
"Michael," God says, "do you see how white I am? I would burn to a crisp."
Michael replies, "Alright, well then why don't you go to Earth?"
"Fuck that," God says, "last time I went there I got some girl pregnant and I never heard the end of it."