Joke #5594

What has ten letters and starts with gas? An automobile.
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has 50.45 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: kids

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Little Johnny’s 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on the alphabet. “Johnny,” she says, “what comes after ‘O’?” Johnny says, “Yeah!”
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has 76.41 % from 222 votes. More jokes about: kids, little Johnny
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing: "He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: accountant, age, husband, kids, wife
There was a father who called his 5 small children together. As the sat together in a circle on the floor the dad placed a toy in the middle. He explained to them that he won this toy as a door prize and he wanted to give it to one of them. He asked them "who is the most obedient?" Five sets of eyes looked up at him. Sensing that they didn’t understand the word he then asked, "ok, who always obeys mommy, and does everything she says?" One of the children picked up the toy and handed it to the father. "You win!" exclaimed the child.
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has 79.00 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids
Did you hear about the baby who swallowed a pin? It was OK. It was a safety pin.
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: kids
In the dim and distant past, when life's tempo wasn't so fast, Grandma used to rock and knit, Crochet, tat and babysit. When the kids were in a jam, they could always call on Gram. However, today she's in the gym exercising to keep slim. She's checking the web or surfing the net, sending some e-mail or placing a bet. Nothing seems to stop or block her, now that Grandma's off her rocker.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: gym, kids, memory, old people, time
TEACHER: Why would you paint something black? STUDENT: So it runs faster.
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: kids
The town’s local council remarks that the best lawyer in town never made a donation to charity tendency. To convince him, the mayor calls him in his office: Sir, I remarked that you’re revenue reached a number of $600.000. With all these, you never made a donation to the charity... If you looked into my files, did you also remark that my mother is sick, and the medicaments she needs exceed her funds? No... answers mayor. In second place, my brother, war veteran, is condemned in a wheelchair and he’s blind. The mayor started apologizing, but was interrupted: And more, my sister died into a car accident and left tree children orphans. Stunned, the mayor says: I didn’t know, please accept my apologies... But the lawyer continues: I don’t see why I should give you any money, if I don’t ever give them money...
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: health, kids, lawyer, money
What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
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has 64.10 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, sex
Kid: "please could I go 2 the toilet" teacher: "say the alphabet" Kid: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz" teacher: "where's the p?" kid: "running half way down my leg"
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: kids
A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."
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has 40.46 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: car, dad, driving, kids