Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm.
She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"
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Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
What do you see when you look into a blonde’s eyes?
The back of her head.
A blonde once shot an arrow into the air... but missed!
What’s the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
The Panama Canal is a busy ditch.
How do you know when a blonde has a brain fart?
Her ears flap.
How many blondes does it take to play hide and seek?
One.
Why do blondes like lightning?
"They think someone is taking their picture."
Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?
A: "Why, I just love nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?"
A Blonde was down on her luck.
In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid.
Tomorrow morning put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the North side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde."
The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the Blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.
The Blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!", the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"