Joke #311

If a wizard was knocked out by Dracula in a fight what would he be? Out for the count!
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has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: kids

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Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
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has 29.43 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, kids, sex
One day a 12-year-old boy was walking down the street when a car pulled up beside him and the driver lowered a window. "I’ll give you a large bag of M&Ms if you get in the car," said the driver. "No way! Get lost!" replied the boy. "How about a bag of M&Ms and 10 dollars?" the driver asked. "I said no way," replied the boy. "What about a bag of M&Ms and 50 dollars?" asked the driver. "No, I’m not getting in the car," answered the boy. "Okay, I’ll give you a bag of M&Ms and 100 dollars," the driver offered. "No!" replied the boy. "What will it take to get you in the car?" asked the driver. The boy replied: "Listen, Dad: You bought the Volvo-you live with it!"
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has 78.11 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: age, car, dad, kids, money
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved." The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."
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has 82.91 % from 270 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, god, kids
Kids dream about having superpowers. Superpowers dream about having Chuck Norris.
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids
Two guys are walking down a road when they come across a deep hole beside it. Being curious, they go over and check it out. When they look down, they are surprised to find they can’t see the bottom. So they drop a couple of rocks down the hole and listen… Nothing. One of them says, "Man, that’s a deep hole!" Thinking they might hear something larger hit the bottom, they find a big, old cinder block and pitch it over the side. The pause and listen intently… They hear a sound, but it is coming from behind them! They quickly turn around to see a goat bearing down on them with it head lowered, flying along, its feet barely touching the ground, its moving so fast! The two men dive out of its way just in time and the goat plunges past them, into the seemingly bottomless hole, to its doom. The two look at each other and say, "Boy that was close! We’d better get away from this thing before we end up with the goat!" So they continue on their way down the road until they happen across this farmer working near it. The men again put their heads together and figure that the goat belongs to the farmer and the decide to tell him what happened. "Hey Mr. Farmer. Do you happen to own a goat?" one of the men asked. The farmer replies, "Yeah, why do you ask?" The men then tell what happened at the hole and how they narrowly avoided death in the hole from the speeding goat. The farmer said, "Well boys, I don’t think that was my goat. You see, my goat was really old and crippled up with arthritis. There is no way he could have been moving that fast. Besides, I had him tied to this big, old cinder block."
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has 67.69 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: kids
A traveling salesman rings this doorbell. 10 year old little Johnny opens, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?" Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: beer, drug, kids
What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath!!!!
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has 17.17 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: kids
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids
Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator? A: The elevator can raise a child.
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has 60.93 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: football, insulting, kids, sport
Q: What animal has the most kids. A: A sperm whale.
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, kids