Joke #311

If a wizard was knocked out by Dracula in a fight what would he be? Out for the count!

A kid from Mississippi is on Harvard campus for the first time, he stops a student and asks, "Excuse me, can you tell me where the library is at?" The Harvard student replies "At Harvard, you don’t end a sentence with a preposition." The kid said, "Sorry about that. Can you tell me where the library is at, asshole?"

Kissing is a habit Fucking is a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain The guy says I love you You believe its true But when your tummy starts to swell, He says 'to hell with you' 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months in pain 3 days in hospital A baby without a name The baby is a bastard The mother is a whore This never wouldn't have happened If the rubber wouldn't have torn

Little Susan was helping her mother to set the table, cause her father invited over his company managers. When everybody sat on the table, her mother noticed that a flatware set was missing. "Susan, why didn’t you put flatware on Mr. Marc’s seat?" "I thought that I didn’t have to, since dad told us that Mr. Marc, eats like a pig…"

A younboy gave his mum a big wrapped up birthday present on a Saturday. She opened it up and it was a tea pot. She said "What a wonderful tea port darling - thank you." The boy said "That's good." Mum said "However I already have a tea pot." The boy replied "No you haven't - I broke it."

What is a baby? "A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other."

A kid walks up to his teacher and says "When is lunch." The teacher said "When its my break." "Your break for what? the kid asks. "My break up" the teacher said.

Mary's father has 5 daughters, 1. Nana 2. Nono 3. Nini 4. Nene What is the fifth daughters name?

Q: You know what lego set Trump played with as a kid? A: The wall maker set.

What color is a burp? It's burple!

Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks. "Look, Mum! No hands! Look, Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look, Mum! No teeth!"