Joke #6691

What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Stop erupting me.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: kids

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The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. The teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period," reported Johnnie. "Well I can see that," she said. "But what is so exciting about a period." "I don't know," said Johnnie, "but this morning my sister said she missed one and Daddy totally freaked out and Mommy fainted"
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has 75.33 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids
Two little kids are in hospital beds next to each other. The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?” The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.” The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of jelly and ice-cream. It’s a breeze.” “Cool,” says the second kid.” “What are you in here for?” “A circumcision.” “Whoa!” exclaims the second kid. “Good luck, mate. I had that done just after I was born and I couldn’t walk for a year.”
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has 78.67 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: age, hospital, kids
A small boy is sent to bed by his father… Five minutes later: "Da-ad…" "What?" "I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad…" "WHAT?" "I’m THIRSTY… Can I have a drink of water?" "I told you NO! If you ask again I’ll have to spank you!" Five minutes later: "Daaad…" "WHAT?!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"
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has 83.61 % from 424 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids
Awwww, kids. They blow up so fast... Get it, kids grow up so fast.
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has 32.63 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, time
I think my sons gay...I took off the seat of his bike, and he didn't notice.
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has 67.90 % from 263 votes. More jokes about: gay, kids
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: kids
After watching the grades of his child, the angry father said, "After seeing your grades, I feel like teaching a lesson or two and want to give a tight slap." The child excitedly says, "Yes dad, lets go, I know the addresses of all my teachers, we must teach them a lesson."
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has 62.10 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids
A mother without any pant was playing with her son. The boy pointing to her mother's pussy asked: "Mammy, what is that dark wooly between your feet? Mother: "My sweet that is a brush." Son: "Where is it's bundle?" Mother: "In your daddy's pant."
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has 71.36 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, kids, sex
Facebook: "My kids are perfect." Instagram: "My kids are beautiful." Twitter: "My kids are why I drink."
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has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: internet, kids
Panic: When your babysitter calls to ask where you keep the fire extinguisher.
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: kids