Q. How can you tell a head nurse?
A. She's the one with the dirty knees!
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Dad shouts: "Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!"
Son: "Dad.. I'm not watching porn, that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!"
Q: Why would a blonde wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means Stop.
Did you hear about the new ‘morning after’ pill for men?
It changes their blood type.
"Will you marry me?" Is a marriage proposal.
"Will, You, Mary, Me" is a foursome proposal.
Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers?
A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
My doctor examined my testicles for me and found two small lumps.
Luckily it turned out they were my testicles.
A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom.
He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed.
When the priest tried to have sex with her, the girl shouted:
"Father, what are you doing?"
The priest replied "Calm down my child.
Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."
A man and his wife went to the pharmacy to pick up his prescription for Viagra.
Seeing the $10 per pill price his wife was astonished - but then realized "it's only going to cost us $30 per year."
A voice inside said to me: ”Calm down, you are not the first doctor who sleeps with his patient!”
And another voice answered: ”but you are a veterinarian!”