Joke #4198

Did you hear about the new ‘morning after’ pill for men? It changes their blood type.

She’s like train tracks – she’s been laid across the country.

I and my two mates went to a hooker and she told us that it will cost us a pound an inch. My first mate went in and came out after minutes, saying, it cost me a tenner! My second mate went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £9.50! I went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £3.50.! "What do you mean," they asked me. "I told them, you both paid on the way in but I paid on the way out."

While making love, he says: Darling, let's do 68! 68??? What's that? You do it to me and I'll owe you one.

The vicar never entertained lewd thoughts – they always entertained him.

What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.

Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch? A: A whore fucks everybody and a bitch fucks everybody but you.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. Steve Martin

A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom. He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed. When the priest tried to have sex with her, the girl shouted: "Father, what are you doing?" The priest replied "Calm down my child. Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."

Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna go down on you.

A honeymoon couple go into a hotel and ask for a suite. ‘Bridal?’ asks the desk clerk. ‘No thanks,’ replies the bride, ‘I’ll just hang onto his shoulders.’