Joke #672

Vaginas are like weather. When it's wet, it's time to go inside.
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has 77.74 % from 1446 votes. More jokes about: sex, weather

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On a Trans-Atlantic Flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman, in particular, loses it! Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well, I've had it! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a woman?" For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's drop-dead gorgeous. Tall, built, with flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Here, iron this."
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has 74.63 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: airplane, death, sex, time, weather
A guy buys his first motorcycle. The dealer tells him to keep a jar of Vaseline handy to rub on the chrome before it rains to prevent rusting. A few months later, the young man's girlfriend invites him to dinner at her parents' house. Before they go in, she explains their family tradition that whomever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes. After dinner, everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break. After 15 minutes, the young man decides to speed things up. He leans over and kisses his woman in front of her family. No one says a word. Emboldened, he throws her on the table and has sex with her. Silence. Desperate, he grabs her mother and has sex with her on the table. Suddenly, they hear thunder rumble in the distance. The guy thinks of his bike and, instinctively, pulls the jar of Vaseline out of his pocket. "OK, OK," says the father, "I'll do the dishes!"
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has 60.75 % from 216 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, marriage, sex, weather
I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
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has 38.60 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex, weather
An old lady goes to her doctor and asks for contraceptive tablets, claiming they help her sleep at night. ‘Why would contraceptive pills make you sleep any better than normal?’ asks the doctor. The old lady replies, ‘Because I put them in my grandaughter’s coffee.’
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has 67.76 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: sex
What is the similarities between a black girl, and a tornado? They both suck, blow, and leave you homeless!
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has 72.23 % from 571 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist, weather
Question master: ‘In the Garden of Eden, what were the first words Eve said to Adam?’ Contestant: ‘Gosh, that’s a hard one!’ Question master: ‘Well done. Two points.’
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has 52.45 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: sex
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
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has 72.45 % from 221 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responds the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?" "Yeah, my first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house." "No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."
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has 79.29 % from 178 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, gay, sex
There is no such things as a tornado. Just Chuck Norris proving that ballet ain't that hard.
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has 50.61 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
Q: Why do hurricanes travel so fast? A: Because if they travelled slowly, we'd have to call them slow-i-canes.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: travel, weather