What kind of money do marsupials use?
Pocket change!
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What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day?
A forty-carrot wedding ring.
What king of money do fishermen make?
Net profits!
Wife: "Give me some money. I want to buy a bra."
Husband: "Why? You have nothing to put in it!"
Wife: "You wear shorts!"
Vote:
Should you trust a stockbroker who’s married to a travel agent?
What’s the difference between a pigeon and a tramp?
The pigeon can put a deposit on a Porsche.
‘If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you.
This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.’ Mark Twain
I was in a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said, "I want you to try and sell this to me."
So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building and went home.
Eventually he called my mobile and said, "Bring it back here right now!"
I said, "£100 and it's yours."
Mortal: What is a million years like to you? God: Like one second.
Mortal: What is a million pounds like to you?
God: Like one penny.
Mortal: Can I have a penny?
God: Just a second…
There was a fire at the local tax office but the fire brigade managed to put it out before any serious good was done.
A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear, “I'll do anything you want for 50 bucks.”
He puts his drink down and starts going through his pockets.
He pulls out a ten, two five's, a twenty and ten ones.
He thrusts the wadded up money into the woman's hand and says, "Here...paint my house.”