Joke #3182

What kind of money do marsupials use? Pocket change!
Vote:
has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: money

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the Bishop with an unusual offer: "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the Bishop looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the Bishop and hissed: "I thought we had a deal." The Bishop put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."
Vote:
has 32.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: marriage, money, wedding
Innkeeper: "The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed." Guest: "I'll make my own bed." Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."
Vote:
has 84.10 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, money, travel, work
Why do people like to borrow money in Alaska? Because they have Fairbanks!
Vote:
has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: money
‘He’s spending a year dead for tax purposes.’ Douglas Adams
Vote:
has 34.78 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: money
Why did Hitler commit suicide? He got the gas bill.
Vote:
has 78.86 % from 879 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, money
A man was telling his wife that he wanted to go to this country in which women paid men twenty dollars every time they had sex. She replied, "I do too!" He gets confused and asks why. She tells him, "I'd like to see how long you can last on forty dollars a month."
Vote:
has 72.33 % from 220 votes. More jokes about: money, sex, wife
Yo mama is so poor that your TV got 2 channels: ON and OFF.
Vote:
has 53.35 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: money, technology, Yo mama
A man wakes up after spending 20 years in a coma. One of the first things he does is ring his stockbroker. ‘Your assets have increased considerably,’ says the stockbroker. ‘The £20,000 you had invested with us is now worth £20 million.’ ‘That’s fantastic,’ says the man. Just then the phone starts bleeping and a recorded voice interrupts, ‘To continue this conversation please insert another £500,000.’
Vote:
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: money
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?" The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking. "You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have." The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have pal?" The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."
Vote:
has 26.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, money
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
Vote:
has 48.59 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, money