We have our water metered and it’s very expensive. The other day the house was on fire and we didn’t know whether it would be cheaper to let it burn.
Chuck Norris won one million dollars gambling playing Solitaire.
Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity," said the sales girl. Fred thought for a moment and said, "No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity."
Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.
A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn't report it. The thief was spending less then his wife.
Money is not everything. There’s also MasterCard and Visa.
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?" The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking. "You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have." The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have pal?" The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."
Yo Momma is so poor when her friend came over to use the bathroom she said ok, choose a corner.
Son: "Mom, I love you so much!" Mother: "I don't have any money, try it with your dad."
Dick’s family were very poor – when the wolf came to the door, they ate it.