How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
Who knows? - It hasn't happened yet!!
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Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
There was an ad in the newspaper:
An agriculturist looks for a woman with a tractor.
The photo of the tractor is required.
General Peter Pollock, the Navy Chief was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army.
General Pollock arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall.
They both walk around the place, and Pollock asks: "So how are your men Marshall?"
"Very well trained, Peter."
"I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country."
"Well, my men are very brave, too."
"I'd like to see that."
So Marshall calls an under-trainee and says:
"James!
I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!"
"Are you crazy?
It'd kill me, you idiot!
I'm out of here!"
As James ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered Pollock and said:
"You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."
What's the difference between a man and a messy room?
You can straighten up a messy room.
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
What did Barack Obama become after his forty-seventh year?
"Forty-eight years old."
God said to Adam, "I’ve got some good news and some bad news.
First the good news.
I have given you a brain and a p***s.
The bad news… I’ve only given you enough blood to work one of them at a time!"
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
There were 11 people – ten men and one woman – hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter.
They all decided that one person should get off, because if they didn’t, the rope would break and everyone would die.
No one could decide who should go, so finally, the woman gave a really touching speech saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children, giving in to men, and not receiving anything in return.
When she finished speaking, all the men started clapping.