How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
Who knows? - It hasn't happened yet!!
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Q: Why is it jewish men won't go down on a woman?
A: Too close to the gas chamber.
A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner.
So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time.
He responded, "Sure.
You carry the suitcases!"
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Dogs are man's best friend.
So which is the dumber sex?
A man walking down the streets sees another man with a very big dog.
One man says to the other, "Does your dog bite?"
The man replies, "No my dog doesn't."
The man pats the dog and has his hand bitten off, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite" said the injured man.
"Thats not my dog", replied the other.
"What is the thickest book in the world?
What Men Think They Know About Women."
One man (lets call him Johnny) came to gun shop.
J(ohnny):I want a pistol
S(alesman):Choose from this wall (points at wall full of pistols)
J: (points at biggest pistol) I want this,
S: An .44 Magnum? And for what purpose?
J: For shooting cans.
S: (points on smaller handgun) For shooting cans is the best this one.
J: (points again on .44) No, I want this one.
S: And what cans will you shoot at?
J: Um...Mexi-cans, Portori-cans, Afri-cans...
Q. What's the difference between men and government bonds?
A. Bonds mature.
Alex an Aussie builder was going through a house he had just built for the woman who owned it.
She was telling him what colour to paint each room.
They went into the first room and she said "I want this room to be painted a light blue."
The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
When he went back into the house, she told him that the next room was to be bright red.
The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
When he went back into the house, she told him that the next room was to be tan.
The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
When he came back, the lady was pretty curious, so she asked him "I keep telling you colours, but you go out the front and yell 'green side up' - what is that for?"
The builder said, "Oh don't worry about that, I've just got a couple of Kiwi's laying the turf out front."
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman.
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one has to drop off, otherwise they are all going to fall.
They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as woman she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, and for men in general, without ever getting anything in return.
As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.