Joke #3236

A cop stopped a drunk at about dawn. The cop asked, "Can you explain why you're out at this hour?" "If I could," the drunk said, "I'd be home by now!"

Me: Can I call an officer a pussy? Cop: No. Me: Can I call a pussy 'officer?' Cop: I guess you could... Me: Goodnight, officer

Officer: "I'm arresting you for downloading all of Wikipedia." Man: "No wait! I can explain everything!"

Little Johnny's class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, of the ten most wanted men, tacked to a bulletin board. On the way out of the police station Little Johnny said to the officer, "It was so nice of you to put my daddy's picture up there."

Q: How many cops does it take to arrest a Mexican? A: Eight. One to carry him, the rest to carry his oranges.

A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window, "Pull over!" "No," she shouts back, "a pair of socks!"

This blonde cop stops a blonde driver and asks for identification. The blonde driver looks all around in her purse and can’t find her license. “I must have left it at home, officer.” “Well, do you have any kind of identification on you?” asks the cop. The blonde takes out a pocket mirror and says, “I do have this picture of me.” “Let me see it,” says the cop. She holds up the mirror and looks in it. Then she says, “Sorry. If I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have stopped you."

A cop asks a nigger: Can you legitimate yourself? Is this because I’m black?

Hardest job in the world: police sketch artist in China.

There is a nigger and a Mexican in a car. Who is driving? Nethier, the cop is.

What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison? A small medium at large.