Joke #3245

A man fell out of a tenth-story window. He's lying on the ground with a big crowd around him. A cop walks over and says, "What happened?" The guy says, "I don't know, I just got here."
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: cop

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A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine. Officer: "You were speeding." Man: "No, I wasn’t." Officer: "Yes, you were. I’m giving you a ticket." Man: "But I wasn’t speeding." Officer: "Tell that to the judge!" (The officer gives man the ticket.) Man: "Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?" Officer: "Yes, you would." Man: "What if I just thought that you were?" Officer: "I can’t give you a ticket for what you think." Man: "Fine, I think you’re a jerk!"
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has 75.28 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: car, cop
A policeman arrested two kids on bonfire night. One for drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. He charged one and let the other one off.
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has 71.97 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: cop
On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?" To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"
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has 75.28 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, god, wife
A policeman is driving along the road when he gets an urgent message on his radio telling him there has been a dead body found in an ice cream van just down the road. He rushes to the scene where he discovers a man's body, with chocolate flakes up each nostril, raspberry sauce all over his head and he is covered from head to toe in hundreds of thousands of sprinkles. A puzzled onlooker asks the policeman what he thinks has happened, to which the policeman replies: "It looks like he's topped himself."
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: cop
A policeman is on scene at a terrible accident - body parts everywhere. He is making his notes of where the pieces are and comes across a head. He writes in his notebook: "Head on bullevard" and scratchs out his spelling error. "Head on bouelevard" Nope, doesn't look right - scratch scratch. "Head on boolevard..." dang it! Scratch scratch. He looks around and sees that no one is looking at him as he kicks the head. "Head on curb."
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has 67.69 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: cop, death
Drunk guy gets pulled over. Officer starts doing sobriety tests on him. The final test the officer says "if you can pass this last test I will let u go... use the words green pink and yellow in 1 sentence." So the drunk man replies "My phone went green and I pinked it up and said yellow. Have a nice day officer!"
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, cop, drunk
Me: Can I call an officer a pussy? Cop: No. Me: Can I call a pussy 'officer?' Cop: I guess you could... Me: Goodnight, officer
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has 81.14 % from 546 votes. More jokes about: cop, dirty
A blonde is driving a helicopter and it crashes. When the police come and ask the blond what happened she says, "I got cold so I turned off the big fan!"
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has 69.19 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop, driving, stupid
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
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has 52.04 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, cop, death, phone
Honestly, Officer, I wouldn't have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me.
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: communication, cop, driving