What's a man's definition of a romantic evening?
Sex.
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Q: Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra?
A: So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the arse.
Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex?
A: They have cotton balls.
Yo mama so fat, when your dad tried eating your mom's pussy his head stuck in.
Q: Why do women have two holes so close together?
A: In case you miss.
Superman is flying around the city, horny as hell.
He suddenly sees Wonder Woman spread eagle, naked on top of the building.
Superman thinks, "This is my chance!" He swoops down, faster than a speeding bullet bangs her and is gone in the blink of an eye.
Wonder Woman sits up and says,"What the hell was that!?"
The Invisible Man rolls off her and says, "I have no idea but it hurt like hell!"
Q: How do you make your wife scream while having sex?
A: Call her and tell her.
Randy Rachel has got a speech impediment – she can’t say no.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
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Q: What do you call a Republican politician who hasn't been connected to a gay sex scandal?
A: Due.
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An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train.
After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying "I know that, in your religion, you’re not supposed to eat pork... Have you actually ever tasted it?"
The Rabbi said, "I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion."
Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation.
He asked, "Your religion, too... I know you’re supposed to be celibate. But..."
The priest replied, "Yes, I know what you’re going to ask. I have succumbed once or twice."
There was silence for a while.
Then the Rabbi peeped around the newspaper he was reading and said, "Better than pork, isn’t it?"