Joke #3264

What's a man's definition of a romantic evening? Sex.
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has 42.35 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: sex

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Holy mother, full of grace Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face Bless his hair that tends to curl Keep him safe from all the girls Bless his arms that are so strong Keep his hands where they belong Bless his dick, the one i sucked Bless the bed, in which we fucked And if my Mom happened to walk in Bless the shit I'd be in.
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has 59.17 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: poems, sex, vulgar
In Noah’s ark, on day 3 the animals could no longer hold their sexual desire, so they started having sex with one another. But Noah got really angry cause the Ark started shaking dangerously and he decided that it was time to put things in order. So he ordered that every male should get a card stating the name of his wife and the days they were allowed to mate. So they did… After a couple of days, during breakfast in the Ark’s cafeteria the monkey said to his wife: "You’ d better get ready ‘cause next Tuesday you’ll suffer cruelly!" The female monkey felt really ashamed because all of the animals heard her husband… The day after, the male monkey said to his wife again: "You’ d better get ready ‘cause next Tuesday you’ll suffer cruelly!" The female monkey feeling really confused, told Noah what had happened, so Noah called the male monkey in his office and asked for an explanation. “You kinky monkey! Why do you insist on disgracing your wife in front of all the other animals?” said Noah “I am not kinky sir”, said the monkey “I’m just warning her because I lost my card at a poker game and now the elephant has it…”
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has 75.34 % from 185 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, sex, wife
Q: What is a difference between Ooooh and Aaaah? A: Only 3 inches.
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has 80.34 % from 474 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex
What’s a man’s definition of safe sex? Meeting his mistress at least 30 miles from his house.
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has 63.87 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: sex
The results of in-depth studies have determined that the most often used sexual position for marriedcouples is the "doggie position". The husband sits up and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.
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has 80.60 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: death, husband, life, marriage, sex
A man was telling his wife that he wanted to go to this country in which women paid men twenty dollars every time they had sex. She replied, "I do too!" He gets confused and asks why. She tells him, "I'd like to see how long you can last on forty dollars a month."
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has 72.33 % from 220 votes. More jokes about: money, sex, wife
What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.
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has 51.39 % from 290 votes. More jokes about: men, sex
A Girl was towelling her wet pussy. She enjoyed it so much that she began to rub it vigorously until... ...the pussy cried "Meow" and runs away. Moral Lessons 1. Be kind to Animals 2. Always keep your thoughts clean...
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has 69.73 % from 164 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex, women
Condoms are not completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and he got hit by a bus.
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has 69.63 % from 367 votes. More jokes about: sex
I tried some of that aphrodisiac rhino horn. Now I’ve got an overwhelming desire to charge at Land Rovers.
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has 36.89 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: sex