A tourist in Sweden is drinking in a bar when an attractive woman sits next to him.
‘Hello,’ he says.
‘Do you speak English?’
‘Oh I speaking not much English,’ replies the woman.
‘How much?’ asks the man.
The woman replies, ‘200 Kroner.’
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
Q. What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats?
A. Cowboy hats are for ass holes.
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer.
The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error.
Not long enough."
Man to friend: ‘I read a survey that said half the men in the UK masturbate in the shower, and the other half sing.
Do you know what they sing?’
Friend: ‘No I don’t.’
Man: ‘I thought you wouldn’t.’
Holy mother, full of grace Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face
Bless his hair that tends to curl
Keep him safe from all the girls
Bless his arms that are so strong
Keep his hands where they belong
Bless his dick, the one i sucked
Bless the bed, in which we fucked
And if my Mom happened to walk in
Bless the shit I'd be in.
There are an older brother and a younger sister.
The sister went to the bathroom while the brother was in the bathroom.
The sister asks the brother if she could play with his dick and he says yeah.
A few weeks later there was a big storm and the sister goes to the brother's room and asked the brother if she could play with Mr.Cuddles he says no.
Then the sister said that she would tell on him so a little pissed of he says yes.
After a while, the parents hear a scream.
They rush to the brother's room and asks the sister what happened she said "Mr.Cuddles spat on me so I bit his head off."
10 things men don't say
1)Let's watch Lifetime.
2)Sex is overrated.
3)I don't want to go too far on the first date.
4)Yes, your sister does have bigger breasts than you.
5)Don't we owe your mother a visit?
6)I'm relieved I don't have a large penis weighing me down.
7)Dessert goes right to my hips.
8)I hate when I miss Oprah.
9)Does this suit make me look fat?
10)I'll never get tired of listening to Dido.
Vote:
On the beach, how can you recognise a guy who uses an inflatable sex doll?
He doesn’t stare at the bikinis, he stares at the beach balls.
How can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day?
Her tampon is behind her ear and she can’t find her pencil.