A tourist in Sweden is drinking in a bar when an attractive woman sits next to him.
‘Hello,’ he says.
‘Do you speak English?’
‘Oh I speaking not much English,’ replies the woman.
‘How much?’ asks the man.
The woman replies, ‘200 Kroner.’
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This 12 year old boy was in bed when he heard his mother moaning.
He decided that he'd go see whats wrong with her.
When he looked in his mothers room he saw that she was laying on her bed naked and rubbing herself and saying, "I need a man, I need a man."
So this quite a few times and then one night he heard his mother again, but this time her moaning sounded different, so he went to go check it out, this time instead of seeing his mother alone, he sees his mother in bed with a man.
So the boy runs back to his room, strips all his clothes off, jumps on the bed and starts rubbing himself while saying, "I need a bike, I need a bike!!!"
Vote:
What happens when a dwarf runs between a girls legs?
He gets a clit around the head and a flap on the face.
Yo Mama's so ugly, I can f**k her in any position and it'll still be doggie-style.
Q: Why do blondes need to have orgasms?
A: So they know when to stop having sex.
What’s the sex?
The sex in a disease.
You always get in bed because of it.
A woman places an ad in the local newspaper.
"Looking for a man with three qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed."
Two days later her doorbell rings.
"Hi, I’m Tim. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no legs so I won't run away."
"What makes you think you are great in bed?" the woman retorts.
Tim replies, "I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?"
Two hookers standing on a street corner started discussing business.
One of the hookers said, "Gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air."
The other hooker looked at her and said, "Sorry No, I just burped."
Q: What are the three words you never wanna hear whilst having sex?
A: "Honey I'm home."
Vote:
A Girl was towelling her wet pussy.
She enjoyed it so much that she began to rub it vigorously until...
...the pussy cried "Meow" and runs away.
Moral Lessons
1. Be kind to Animals
2. Always keep your thoughts clean...